


My Blood

by MissMarrinette



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Feels, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, If you want - Freeform, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Panic Attacks, Part Two, Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Slow Burn, Soulmates, YALL ALREADY KNOW, barrier still exists, before Frisk, frisk hasnt come, go read the first draft, i might through them i here though, not me, not yet, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 40,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23048020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMarrinette/pseuds/MissMarrinette
Summary: “Goodbye,” I whispered, with a small wave.Seeing her standing there, her hands clasped in front of her, shedding silent tears, made me want to turn back, made me want to make it okay, but I couldn’t. I had to grow up. I had to move on.I turned and pushed open the heavy doors. There was a ramp, leading upwards, towards another set of beautiful columns. I took a deep breath and pushed forward.Step by step, I made it to the next set of columns.It was dark.Here goes nothing.I took the final step out of the Ruins, and my foot crunched on something white and cold.“Oh, come on!” I shouted at no one.I hated snow more than anything in the world.
Relationships: Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Asgore Dreemurr/Toriel, Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45





	1. When Everyone You Thought You Knew...

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back! Or if you're new hello! 
> 
> This is the second/final draft of Oh Miss Believer, now named My Blood.
> 
> I have grown so much in the few years since starting the writing of Oh Miss Believer, and that's going to be reflected in this work. I'm so happy and proud to keep this going. The reason that I stopped the other one was that I had grown so much and it didn't feel like me and I couldn't connect with it like I used to. 
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoy this! I'm always here if you need to talk and I love seeing your comments and kudos. They mean the world to me. 
> 
> ((A/N: This is also before Frisk or the gameplay of Undertale.))
> 
> Have fun and enjoy reading! If you have any questions I'll do my best to answer them for you!
> 
> Love Mamma Marri

Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: Humans and Monsters.

One day, war broke out between the two races.

After a long battle, the Humans were victorious.

They sealed the monsters underground with a magic spell.

Legend says, that those who climb the mountain, never return.

_____________________________

*Name the newly fallen Human*

"____________"

This name is correct.

________________________________________________________________________

Some days were harder than others, and today was one of the hardest that I had ever faced. I held back tears as I ended the call that I got from my brother, someone who I hadn’t spoken to in years.

There had been an accident. I… I was alone. My parents were gone. In a split second my world shifted completely. Lost gripped my soul, but I had no idea what to do with it. It just added to the rest.

My grandfather died a year back, and he was all I had when the world seemed to be closing in.

He showed me the world through a lens I couldn’t help but admire. He taught me histories and knew everything about, well, everything. What that college was before it was a school. Why they called the road what they did and why it stood out in history.

He was always there when I needed help with math or science in school, two subjects I couldn’t ever get a grasp on. He was patient with me. He showed me another way that wasn’t the shit they put in textbooks. He showed up to every one of my art shows, and the few tennis matches I was in, and watched, and congratulated me each time. Making my efforts seem worthwhile. Letting every all-nighter studying or finishing projects worth it.

It was never for my parents, or myself: my good grades, my good person, it had all been for him. I reflected on him, and I needed that to be someone I was proud of.

But when he died… that part of me died too.

It was only days before my high school graduation. I was in the top ten of my class, proud of what I was for him, and he wouldn’t even get to see me walk across the stage and accept a stupid piece of paper that I had worked so hard to get.

I didn’t show that day.

Now my parents were gone… and my brother barely got the news out before hanging up.

I was truly alone for the first time in my life.

Estranged.

I headed outside, desperate to clear my head, to figure out what I was thinking, feeling. What was next? Plan another funeral? Finances?

I walked along the trail behind the apartment building, the one leading up the mountain. The beauty of the trails always held magic and comfort for me, I wished them to do it once more.

____________________

“The Great War was fought here,” my grandfather told me before they built apartments here. “The humans fought against the monsters, in a clash of magic and power. The human Mages forced every monster back, up this hill, into the mountain, and sealed them off forever.”

“But why?” my six-year-old self asked.

“Humans act on fear and hatred more than they do love and kindness,” he said, looking away to the mountain.

“Well, that’s stupid,” I said. He chuckled at my response.

____________________

Tears fell down my face as I tried to blink them away. The memories of all three of them swirled around in my head forever a part of me. Easy to remember hard to forget.

I ran my hand over the ferns and brush alive in the forest, humming with power and calling gently. The trail took me further up the mountain, beckoning me forward in its beauty and mystery. In my distraught emotions, I didn’t pay much attention to where I was going, I knew this trail, I knew these woods.

Maybe if I was paying more attention, I wouldn’t have tripped.

I wouldn’t have fallen.

I scream escaped from my lips as my hands shot out to grab something, anything. My hand struck a jutted-out rock, desperate to latch onto it, but it wasn’t enough to stop my fall. My momentum was too strong as it pulled me downward.

Part of my mind told me to give in. That it wasn’t worth the fight as I fell. I let out another cry of desperation.

 _“Don’t give up, stay determined,”_ A voice echoed in my head.

Determined?

The thought was cut short when my body hit something from the side and I began to slide down the edge as if it were sloped just enough. I let my body go slack and allowed the earth and gravity to pull me downward, ever so slowly stopping.

When I stopped tumbling down the side of the chasm, left in a soft bed of soil, I dared to move my limbs. Nothing seemed to be unusable, but I had scraped and slashed along my arms and legs—abrasions from the fall. There was a gash on my hand from where I grabbed at the rock and it was bleeding slightly, but I could manage. I would have to manage.

Blinking in the darkness of where I was, my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting and before me were two pillars covered in vines. They stood sentry over the bed of yellow wildflowers that were not feet from where I was.

_“The Mages sealed the monsters underground, for eternity. Only the power of love, they say, could overcome such a barrier.”_

A voice, that sounded like my grandfather rang about the chamber, making me flinch. For a moment I thought that it was him, but I was alone.

I was alone now… with no hope of going back… no one to go back to… no one to miss me…

I shoved the thoughts down and took a deep breath.

Priorities.

I needed to find help. I needed to find shelter and survive.

The last few beams of sunlight mocked me overhead, as I tried to stand. With some difficulty, I was able to and ventured deeper into the cave before me. Step by step. I could do this. Into the unknown.

“ _Excuse_ _me_!” An annoyed, muffled voice called.

Looking around confused I saw no one. Was I not the only one down here? Was it possible that my grandfather was right? That there were monsters trapped beneath the mountain put there by humans?

“ _Under your foot_ ,” called the voice disgruntled.

I picked up my foot and saw a tiny yellow flower—like the ones around it—with a face, looking a bit resentful. Kneeling down, I inspected the small thing. Maybe monsters did exist after all...

“I’m sorry,” I offered a small smile, “I didn’t see you down there.”

“Yeah, whatever.” It grumbled, then put on a seemingly cheery smile. “I’m Flowey. Flowey the flower. And I am here to help you.” It—Flowey, said.

I stared at it, pursing my lips trying to figure out the best course of action here. When in Rome…

“Uhuh... I’m talking to a flower…named Flowey… Yeah, sure, why not?” I reasoned. “What kinda help?” I asked it (him? Did flowers have genders?).

“Well, you’re new around here aren’tcha?” His voice was childlike, but it held no innocence.

“Uh, yes. Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked him.

“No reason. Just gonna teach you some basics. That’s all. First, see your soul?”

I tried to figure out what he meant by basics and soul then something inside me changed, shifted. Something deep within was called outside and put into focus before me. It was a… cartoon heart? Could that be right?

“Yeah. I see it.” Not really sure what I was seeing or what I was doing. Maybe this was all just a dream. That would make sense, right?

The pain in my sliced hand convinced me otherwise.

“Just give it some love. My friendliness pellets will do!” Flowey said cheerfully.

Tiny white pellets materialized before my eyes, and although the flower said they would help, my instincts screamed to move my— soul… away from them. Not knowing exactly what to do, my soul seemed to respond to my thought anyway and moved out of the way of the small seed-like shapes.

“Hey. I think you missed some. You’re not brain dead, are you? Run into the bullets! I- I mean friendliness pellets.” the flower amended, stuttering.

 _Bullets_? Was he _insane_? I was definitely _not_ doing that.

Again, his attack came, and my soul responded to me, moving just out of reach of the… bullets.

“You know what’s going on here, now, don’t you?” The little flower said with a wicked tone. The bright and cheery flower had suddenly become a lot more sinister. “You want me to suffer.” It rasped. “In this sick world, it’s kill or be killed.”

My soul was trapped, not able to move, no matter how much I begged it too. Flowey set up another attack, and I braced for what was to come not knowing what would happen.

“So, your death is all I’ll offer,” he said sinisterly cheerful as if he was doing me a favor.

Was death a favor?

His attack hit me, and I cried out, in shock and pain.

It was something I had never felt before, knocking the breath out of my lungs. Nothing was physically damaged, as far as I could see, but I felt much weaker. Much more vulnerable to the world around me. Like something had pierced through my heart, tearing at my very being.

Maybe he was right. Maybe death would be peaceful. I’d get to see my grandfather… and parents again and leave this sick world.

But his next blow never came.

I looked up, wondering why, and saw a towering… goat monster lady?

She was wearing purple robes that made her look elegant and commanding.

“What a dreadful, miserable creature. Are you alright, my child?” She asked in a motherly voice that made me weak to my core.

I didn’t have a mother any longer to ask if I was alright… to protect me… to call me a child…

Taking a deep breath, I stood and brushed off my jeans, I felt my soul slide safely back into my chest, still feeling slightly weary.

I couldn’t speak, but I gave a small nod.

“Come, let’s get you someplace safe.” She said offering me her… paw?

Agony riddled me through as I took it, missing my mother more with each step that we took together, the weight of the world left behind me threatening to crush me. But safety felt nice… I needed a little safety right now.

“My name is Toriel, and I am the keeper of the Ruins.” She—Toriel—informed me, guiding me through halls of stone, brick, and vines, that felt, surprisingly, far from creepy.

They were almost... majestic, as she was. And despite being underground, the halls and rooms were well lit, giving the illusion of sunlight. It was a nice distraction, trying to figure out the mechanics of it all. And to think… monsters were real, and I had just met one.

If my grandfather could see me now…

Focusing on the world and landscape became my new task… a distraction that held my interest for it was all so… magical.

Before me, there was a staircase, and a glowing golden globe, suspended in the center of a pile of red leaves. Toriel didn’t pay any mind to it, but it seemed to beacon me towards it.

I cautiously walked to the orb and reached for it. When my fingertips brushed the golden flame, I felt better—healed. My soul was no longer worn and weary. The scrapes and sliced from my fall were absent, my hand back to normal.

I marveled at the small glowing orb wondering what it could be, or what exactly it just did. Not that I was complaining, but I did have a few questions that added themselves to the ever-growing list that had begun since my fall.

In the next room, Toriel paused and looked back at me, a soft smile on her face.

A deep breath and my emotions were in check. I could do this.

“There are many puzzles in the Ruins, each room has to one to solve to proceed to the next.” She said, flipping a few switches, and activating a few floor tiles, in the next room. “I will guide and show you how to proceed. I have marked the switches you must press to go on.” She said, gesturing to the wall ahead.

Great. I fall down a hole in the mountain, and now I have to be Indiana Jones. I was beginning to be more grateful to Toriel. I couldn’t imagine trying to do any of this on my own. In fact, I was sure that I never would have made it past the creepy flower.

I followed her to the next room, on a marked path, until I saw a sign off the path a ways. Venturing towards it, I could barely make out the wording

_“Stay on path”_

I stared at it. But… I had to go off the path to read it and it was just telling me not to do what I just did to… My brain hurt. Why would a sign…?

I sighed, shook my head and explored the hall. Toriel was ever so patient in waiting for me to look at everything. Almost as if she had done this before. I flipped the few switches that there were, clearly marked for me, as she had said. I heard something click inside the wall, and Toriel walked to the next room, and I trailed behind her.

There was a training dummy, that looked slightly like a… dog? Human? Thing?

“In the Underground,” Toriel spoke. “Monsters may be afraid of you and will want to fight. Please do not engage with violence. Simply talk to the monster, or act, until the monster does not want to fight anymore. Understand?” She prompted.

I nodded and thought back to Flowey… what if I had fought back? No one told me I could. I didn’t want to fight back. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I was never a good fighter.

Toriel seemed pleased and nodded, carrying on to the next room.

I had only taken a few steps when I felt my soul pulled from my chest again like it was with Flowey. In front of me stood a frog-like creature. My brain supplied “ _Froggit_ ” as a name.

Yeah, it looked like a Froggit. It seemed like we were in a “fight” like Toriel had said. I stared at the creature, fascinated, and struck up a conversation with it. It complained that its life was hard, and I could sympathize.

Soon Toriel came and shooed the Froggit away, looking proud of me. A pang of guilt hit my heart. I didn’t want her to be proud of me, I wanted my mother to be proud of me. Something I could never have again.

“Well done, my child,” Toriel said beaming. I gave her a forced smile that didn’t reach my eyes, and we continued on

The next room further had a bridge of spikes—Indiana Jones style. _Great_. Seeing the stress on my face, she took my hand once more and lead me through the spikes, which disappeared underfoot. I didn’t know how or why, but I wasn’t going to complain.

Maybe I was okay with her leading me… being a mother when my mother… couldn’t.

Reaching the next room, Toriel stopped and turned to face me.

“Child,” she spoke. “I know you are not young, nor ignorant, nor foolish. There are a great many puzzles ahead I would like you to complete on your own, for I won’t always be there to aid and guide you. Do you think you can manage?” she asked, worry in her voice.

I stared up at her, tears in my eyes. It was like a final goodbye to my mother… Something that I didn’t know that I needed but was grateful for I suppose.

I nodded at her request and wrapped my arms around her, needed to feel protected just once more before I tried it all on my own

“I have not been on the surface for quite some time now, and I suppose this is outdated, but I would like to give to you a cell phone. It has reception anywhere in the Underground, so if you ever truly need me, I am but a call away.” She said, handing me an old looking flip phone.

To be honest it looked like the first Motorola phone I had as a kid. I smiled as I remember how paranoid my parents were over protecting me.

“Thank you,” I said, supposing that my actual phone nestled in my back pocket might not work here, being so far underground. At least it had a flashlight.

And with that, Toriel walked away.

I began to venture forward, into the next room, pocketing the phone. There was another Froggit, standing by a doorway to my left. I went to engage it in conversation. It was more talkative, rather than looking for a fight.

“Excuse me, human,” It said in a rather old English accent. “But might I give you some advice pertaining to fighting monsters?”

I smiled softly and nodded.

“If you act a certain way, or fight until you almost defeat them, they may not want to fight any longer. And at that point, please, show your mercy, and spare them.” He offered.

A small frown graced my face… who wouldn’t show mercy to someone who asked for it? Who would fight someone who wanted amity?

“Of course,” I whispered.

In the same room, there was another mysterious glowing orb hovering over leaves again, and I sauntered over to go and touch it again. It filled me with a familiar warmth, and determination to proceed, like the pain and hurt of my heart healed a little more.

There was a doorway by the Froggit I had spoken to earlier. I passed through the doorway and saw, raised on a podium, a bowl, filled with brightly colored candies.

I smiled and thought of all the houses that would present the same scene on Halloween night. Venturing forward, I took a single piece of candy and unwrapped it, letting the candy melt on my tongue. It tasted like the perfect candy that I always craved but never existed. It was more than I could ever want and it made me smile.

Exiting the room, I continued on. The room meandered to the left again, and I walked on, but suddenly fell.

“Oh, what the hell?” I grumbled, standing and brushing the stray leaves off my jeans.

I was getting tired of falling, to tell the truth, but at least this time I wasn’t hurtling down the side on a mountain.

There were two doors on the far wall, and I recognized the puzzle but wasn’t sure of the solution that it posed.

I chose the one closest to me. I was suddenly where I was moments ago, an evident hole from where I had fallen, like a snare.

Studying the room and noticed two vents on either side of the hole, I had an idea. Knowing there was no other way but to fall again, I decided to jump, landing on my feet easily, and tried the second door, which, brought me to the other side; just as I had thought. I smiled to myself and kept heading forward.

In the room ahead there was a row of spikes blocking my path. Not trusting my hand-eye coordination, I looked for a solution. Toriel had said that the Ruins worked like lock and key. Before I could get to doing that, my—well, Toriel’s phone—rang in my pocket.

“Hello, child,” she said when I answered the call. “Do you prefer butterscotch or cinnamon?” she asked.

I told her I didn’t have a preference when she pushed further, I chose butterscotch.

“I see. And you would not turn your nose up at either?” She asked, sounding nervous.

I smiled to myself and shook my head, knowing that she couldn’t see me.

“Of course, not Toriel,” I said, enjoying the goat mother’s endearment.

“I see, thank you, child.” And with that, she hung up.

I smiled and shook my head softly in disbelief, pocketing the phone. There was another sign on the wall. I decided to go and read it.

_‘Three out of four grey rocks recommend you push them.’_

I looked around and saw a grey rock on a predetermined path, and what looked like an activation tile. I stared ludicrously at it.

How did I miss that? I quickly nudged the rock onto the tile, and the spikes lowered. Simple enough. I crossed over the lowered spikes to the next room, the next puzzle, but another Froggit crossed my path and wanted to fight.

Knowing what to expect, I was ready for this.

I had the first move, so I decided to compliment it, thinking about the English-sounding frog who said I’d have to act in a certain way. The Froggit seemed confused but accepted the compliment anyway.

His attack came at me and took me by a slight surprise, but I avoided it easily. Something called my soul to spare it and I did. It hopped away happily, and I waved as it did.

Surging forward, I saw the floor change in pattern and narrowed my eyes. It was the same as before when I had fallen, except this time I had no idea where to step.

So, I decided to hug the wall, and my plan failed as soon as I rounded the corner. I landed on my butt, in the room beneath, on a pile of leaves. I frowned and looked around the room. The leaves were in a mysterious pattern. This had to be another puzzle and the leaves were the solution.

So maybe if I followed the pattern where the leaves weren’t, I could get past this puzzle.

I repeated the pattern again and again in my mind and decided to walk it a few times, before leaving, just to be sure. I walked through the door that would lead me back to the main room, and it let me out to the hall just before the puzzle.

I went to the wall as before and walked straight forward to the far wall in front of me, bracing for the fall. I slowly slid against the far wall a few paces, before venturing back towards where I had come, but a few feet to the right.

Touching the north wall, I began making my way to the right again, before heading straight towards the south wall again, feeling the far corner again, and went straight up, to the door leading into the next hallway.

Feeling proud, I allowed myself a small moment to gloat, before I saw the next puzzle, which looked like the puzzle with the rocks from earlier, this time with a bridge of spikes. I could totally do this.

I went to nudging the rocks onto their tiles. I got two of them in place before going to the third, which—though, maybe it shouldn’t have—surprised me when it spoke.

“Whoa there, partner!” It hollered in a female sounding, thick southern drawl. “Who said you could push me around?” It (she?) prompted.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess you’re right.” I apologized quickly. “Do you mind moving on that tile, so that I can cross the bridge?” I asked. “I just need you to hang there until I get passed it. If that’s alright?”

“I guess so,” she said, moving onto the tile.

“Thanks so much.” I smiled at her—the rock—walking safely over the bridge.

The next room had another glowing globe, calling me to come and touch it. And so, I did. There was also a table, with cheese… stuck?... to it. Smiling and shaking my head I ventured on, feeling confident and determined.

Before me, I saw another monster—person. A ghost to be exact. They were blocking the path and seemed to materialize as I came closer.

He seemed to be sleeping. I nudged him a little. He seemed unphased (ha). I nudged him a bit more. He awoke with a start, and suddenly I felt my soul being pulled into the fight.

I chuckled as my brain told me his name was Napstablook.

He looked sad and I figured maybe he could use some cheering up. So that’s what I did. His spirits, (ha) seemed lifted. His attack, well, his tears, made me feel sympathy for the ghost, as I dodged.

And so, I continued to cheer him up. I told him a joke, and he seemed to laugh at that. I awaited his attack, but it didn’t come,

“I’m not really feeling it right now. _Sorry_.” He mumbled. I smiled.

“That’s alright. Sometimes I’m not really feeling it either.” I consoled.

“Hey… you wanna see something?” He asked.

“Sure,” I said, with a bigger smile. It felt good to help someone, to get out of my own head and do something good despite it all.

He started crying again, so I tensed for the attack, but the tears floated upward? And They materialized a rather fancy top hat. Reminding me of a kid in high school who always wore one, I smiled at the memory.

I complimented him on his hat, and he seemed frazzled at it. I felt my soul leave the battle mode, and I stood there with Napstablook.

“I normally come to the Ruins because no one is around.” He paused. “But I met someone nice today.” He said, smiling, (could ghosts smile?) and phased out of sight.

I smiled too and made my way forward. There were two doors, one to the north and one in front of me. I decided to go forward and found a small room with two spiderwebs, so beautifully spun that I couldn’t help but admire.

It seems that there was a bake sale going on—based on the flyers scattered about—on the webs, with donuts and a golden drink for sale.

_‘Spider Bake Sale. By Spiders, For Spiders, Of Spiders.’_

_Of_ spiders?

I looked at the donuts dubiously. Whelp. When in Rome.

I left a few gold pieces I had collected along the way, thinking that this was the currency and not the few dollar bills I had stashed in my back pocket.

Placing on the web about seven, some spiders picked up a donut and gave it to me. I smiled and thanked the spiders, giving them a small wave before leaving.

I stared at the donut. What was I going to do with this? Where was I going to keep it? I could eat it, but I didn’t really want to, not after the candy from earlier.

Suddenly the donut was gone from my hand and my phone from Toriel beeped. I took it out of my pocket, and there was a notification under the items tab. I scrolled down and clicked it. There was the Spider Donut. I clicked it and a menu came up:

_‘drop’_

_‘info’_

_‘use’_

Huh.

Okay then.

I continued on and went to the room that was north of the hall I was in, pocketing my phone. The next room was a long hall. I sighed. How long were the Ruins? Was this all that was the Underground encompassed? Was this my home for the rest of my life? They didn’t seem so small with that thought in mind.

I sighed and trudged on. The next room was another puzzle. Go figure. But it had both spikes and falling pits. Peachy.

It seemed as if I’d have to fall to complete this puzzle. I chose the nearest hole, towards the top of the room, and jumped through… only to find an empty room with nothing but a door to return.

I sighed and walked through the door, but suddenly felt my soul be pulled into a fight. By a… carrot?

I quickly went on the defense and ignited the fight with the _Vegetoid_. Seeing it was a vegetable, I asked it to dinner, and it seemed pleased.

“Eat your greens!” It said, with a raspy voice.

Its attack was a bit different. There were green carrots scattered among the white ones. I navigated my soul towards one of them carefully and collected it, instantly feeling better. The Vegetoid seemed happy about this and burrowed back underground.

Deciding that was one of the weirdest things ever, despite demonic flowers and goat mothers, I headed to the doorway and returned back to the room with the holes.

I chose the hole to the right of that one, and fell again, landing on my feet. All of this falling and one of these times I was going to break my ankle.

Luckily, this room had only a switch on the wall. I thanked the maker and pressed it. I heard a clicking sound, and went through the door, finding that the spikes had been lowered. I quickly ran over them and found another puzzle I wasn’t sure I was ready for.

There was a sign on the wall, and, ignoring all of the pillars and colorful switches, I went to read it.

_‘The far door is not an exit. It simply marks a rotation in perspective.’_

Well, that wasn’t cryptic at all. As I looked around, I saw three switches: the closest to me blue, then yellow a bit away, and finally red, around the corner. I sighed and tried the first blue switch. Nothing happened. Must not be the right switch. I tried the yellow one. Nothing happened again. I huffed in frustration and tried the red switch. Still, nothing happened. I felt like screaming at no one in particular. Looking forward, I saw that the door wasn’t even blocked. Fuming, I stalked through it, finding the same room… but from a different perspective.

_‘…A rotation in perspective…’_

Oh.

I saw the blue switch behind the first pillar and decided to press it. I heard a clicking noise and rounded the corner and saw that the passage was open.

Part of me wondered why the hell were there so many puzzles? Did anyone have anything better to do? At all?

Then, I remembered that the monsters have been trapped down here for hundreds of years, and decided, no maybe they didn’t.

Humbling and looking at the next room, I saw it was again rotated, but none of the switches were hidden. I read the sign on the wall.

‘ _If you can read this, press the red switch_.’

I stalked over to the red switch and pressed it, again hearing the clicking sound and a slight smile played at my lips. Another right step.

The only switch left was the yellow switch, so, though the room was again rotated, I knew exactly where to go, and pressed the switch and walked out of the stupidly complicated room.

The next room greeted me with a choice, again. Determination in my eyes and my jaw set, I went forward and was greeted with a Froggit. I took a deep breath and went to talk to it.

“I saw Toriel come out of here a little while ago,” the frog croaked. “She was carrying some groceries. I didn’t ask what they were for,” they informed me.

“Oh, well, thank you,” I said, waving goodbye.

I had no interest in going through the door. I wanted to see Toriel, not see where she had been, so I turned and went back the way I came.

I did miss Toriel and could really use one of her hugs about now. So, going back to the crossroads, I headed north.

I saw an old tree, with a massive trunk, leafless. I ran my fingers over the coarseness of the trunk and thought of all of the fallen leaves around the ruins, wondering if this was their source.

“Well done, my child.” a familiar voice spoke. I tore my eyes from the tree and saw Toriel standing there, beaming with pride.

“Thanks.” I smiled as I made my way over to her.

She wrapped me in a hug—that I was craving desperately—before checking me over for injuries.

“Are you alright?” she asked, and I nodded as a response. “Very good. Now, come inside, I have a surprise for you,” she said beaming, and beckoning me over towards a quaint little home, built into the wall of the Ruins.

Another golden orb was before me, and, doing what I had done for every other, I went and touched it, instantly feeling more determined to continue forward.

Inside, Toriel greeted me and spoke in a motherly tone.

“I have made you a cinnamon butterscotch pie to celebrate your arrival. This is my home, and you are welcome any time you’d like. Please follow me and I will show you to your new room.” she said, turning and walking to my right, down a hallway.

I stood there for a moment and looked around the home, taking in what she had told me.

A new home.

I fought back tears again as I looked around.

The walls were pale yellow, and the floor was made of wood. There was a staircase before me, leading down, a bookshelf and potted plant on a table, on either side of the stairs.

I ventured towards where Toriel was patiently waiting in the hallway. She stood in front of a door, that she opened when I was near.

“This is your room for as long as you decide to stay, my child.” She said. “Now, I am sure that you are more than tired, so rest, small one. You’re safe here,” she said soothingly, laying a paw on my shoulder, then leaving.

I went to sit on the small twin sized bed that was against the wall and glanced around the room.

It looked like it was made more for a child than for me. Again, there was a bookshelf with a few books and a photo frame. A wardrobe, some stuffed animals, a few lamps and a decorative rug.

Grabbing one of the stuffed animals I felt exhaustion overtake me as I laid down. As soon as I curled up and closed my eyes, sleep greeted me like an old friend.

……

When I awoke, what seemed like days later from a dreamless sleep, I saw a piece of pie left on the floor and smiled.

I found myself doing that more often, and the things of my other life started to fade slightly.

I picked up the pie and thought about it, and suddenly it was gone. My phone buzzed. I smiled, contemplating of the magic behind that.

I rose, stretching and leaving the room and peering down the hallway. There were two other doors, like mine.

One I assumed was Toriel’s room and one was under renovations, by what the sign said on it. Further down the hall was a mirror.

I hardly recognized the person in it. It was me, of course, but at the same time not. As if an artist had recreated my image but hadn’t gotten everything quite right.

I rubbed my eyes. God, I needed a shower.

I glanced around and saw a door on the opposite side of the hall. I had a feeling that that was the bathroom.

I opened the door, and sure enough, it was a bathroom. It was small, with a toilet, sink, and tub, all stainless, and freshly cleaned, smelling of lavender and bleach. I closed the door behind me and locked it.

Leaning against the door, I sighed and got to work on that shower. I started the water, letting the pipes cleanout, expecting rust, but there was none. Cool.

I turned the water warmer and tested it with my fingers, the warm water calling to my aching muscles. I let the water run, while I stripped my clothes, and folding them, setting them on the counter.

Before I stepped into the water, I look around for a towel, and sure enough, there was a small linen closet that was stocked full of white fluffy towels. I grabbed one and hung it on the hook adjacent to the shower.

The warm water felt heavenly on my chilled skin. I ran my fingers through my hair, letting the water soak it, and released a sigh of relief, and began to unwind, allowing myself to sort through everything that had happened, and make sense of it.

Surprisingly, there was soap alone the ring of the tub, against the wall. Quite a few actually. Toriel had shampoo conditioner and lavender-scented body wash.

I didn’t take too long thinking about what she used where, and really wasn’t going to complain.

Raking the soap through my hair, my hands fell into their muscle memory, freeing my mind to do some more processing.

All of the monsters seemed, nice enough, maybe a little hesitant when they saw me, but they all came around. Eventually. Thinking back to Toriel’s words, of not resorting to violence, and pondered again why would anyone? All of these monsters were so exquisite, unique, lovely. Who would want to hurt them?

“I would.” A sickly-sweet child’s voice giggled.

I nearly jumped out of my skin, and the shower for that matter. Panting and gasping, grasping at the wall, I looked up, into the mirror, at my crazed, startled look.

Finding solace on edge of the tub, catching my breath I reached for a towel, and wiped my face off, before running the towel through my damp hair. When I felt that my heart had returned to its normal pace, I stood and dried off the rest of the way.

There was a soft knock on the door, and I let out a yelp, then cursed myself for being so afraid. To be fair I had every right to be.

What the hell was that voice? What were any of the voices that I heard down here?

“Are you alright, my child?” Toriel asked gently.

I nodded to myself and found my voice.

“I’m okay. Thank you.” I said, taking calming breaths.

“Alright my child. I have supper when you’re ready for it.” Toriel informed me softly.

“Thank you. I’ll be out soon.” I told her, reaching for my clothes.

I sighed as I jumped and wiggled into my jeans. I was still slightly wet, so it wasn’t an easy feat. The rest of my clothing went on without struggle, but I yearned for clean clothes.

I fixed my sweater in the mirror, so it hung over my jeans right, and ran my fingers through my damp hair, trying to get it presentable.

It was good enough, for now. I had no one to impress. I glanced once more in the mirror, feeling more me than I had in a while, and exited the bathroom, and headed down the hall, to the part of Toriel’s home, I hadn’t seen yet.

Passing the hall with the stairs, I entered a grand room. It had a stone fireplace, and next to it a bookshelf. Toriel was nowhere to be seen but judging by the miraculous smells coming from what I assumed was the kitchen around the corner, I had an idea of where she was. I picked a book up from the shelf, and opened it to a random page, skimming it.

_‘Trapped behind the barrier, fearful of further human attacks, we retreated. Far, far into the earth, we walked, until we reached the caverns end. This was our new home, which we called ‘home._ ’’

I delicately ran my fingers over the page and closed the book returning it to the shelf. I didn’t want to know anymore. I knew the horrors that humans were capable of. I didn’t need to be reminded.

I wrapped my arms around myself and looked around the room. The fire was burning warm, not hot. Some part of me wanted to touch it, for there was no fear that I would be burned by the flames. I decided against it.

There were also iron tools, to tend the fire, but they were all filed down. I smiled at how much of a mother Toriel really was.

I shrugged to myself and made my way to the kitchen. Toriel was standing by a counter, picking up plates and dishes filled with food.

She jumped a little when she turned and saw me.

“Oh, hello child.” She said, recovering.

“Do you need some help?” I asked, gesturing to the dishes and plates.

“Oh, that would be lovely, thank you,” Toriel said, all smiles.

I grabbed a few dishes and walked behind her to the table, which occupied some of the den, with three chairs.

Toriel set two plates down, one on the right of the table and one on the long side of the elegant wood table, that had a potted plant. I set the dishes of delicious food on the table and went to sit where Toriel wasn’t, on the edge of the table.

Toriel smiled at me and reached her paw out for my plate, which I gave to her, and she began dishing up from each of the foods, then handed the plate back, and I set it down, then she dished up for herself.

She smiled and waited for me to take the first bite. So, I picked up my fork and took a bite of the food before me. As soon as it touched my mouth, I was astounded. It tasted heavenly, like all of my favorite home-cooked meals at once.

“God, Toriel, this is amazing!” I said, after finishing my mouthful.

She beamed. “It’s a snail casserole.” She said proudly. “My hus-... My ex-husband loved snails, so I learned ever recipe I could.” She said with melancholy.

I nodded and placed my hand on her arm.

“It’s wonderful.” I encouraged smiling. “He was a lucky man.”

“Thank you, my child. But bygones are bygones. No need to dwell.” She said with a sad smile.

I nodded at the truth in the statement. Here was a new life for me. I tried to ignore the shadows that lurked behind me. Maybe I was in denial for the moment… but I could live with that.

While we were cleaning up, and washing dishes after dinner, a thought milled around in my head, begging to be asked.

“Hey Toriel, can I ask you something?” I tested.

“Of course, my child.” She said, drying the dishes and placing them on the drying rack.

“Is there anything beyond the Ruins?”

She froze in place and took a deep breath, setting down her rag.

“Are you not happy here?” She asked, sadly.

“I… no, I am. I was just curious, I guess.” I said, looking down at the plate I was washing. “I’m sorry I asked…”

She nodded, lost in thought.

“There is more beyond the Ruins. I… have never ventured past the end of them, but I suppose if you wish to go, I can show you.” She said, her face somber.

“Don’t… don’t worry about it,” I gave her a small smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes.

She gave me a smile and wrapped me in a hug. Her fur smelled of baked goods and lavender. She was so soft, and warm, and inviting. She had to have been left by her husband, and maybe lost a child. She just yearned for companionship.

I felt a twinge in my heart of sorrow and sympathy for the lonely goat mother. Tears pricked my eyes. I didn’t want to leave, but I knew I couldn’t stay. I couldn’t be the replacement that she yearned for and she couldn’t be the one I pleaded for… the one that I had just lost.

“I can’t stay Tori.” I murmured.

I felt her sigh.

“I suppose I knew that.” She pulled away from the hug and smiled down at me, tears in her eyes. “You are brave, my child. You have compassion and a heart for others. Don’t lose that. It will take you far.” She whispered. “Would you like to go now? Perhaps some clean clothes first? Ans supplies for the journey ahead?” She asked.

I nodded and she hugged me briefly, before bustling out of the kitchen, and to her room. I followed, sadness gripping my heart. I had barely known this woman, and she had been so kind to me and taken me in without a second thought.

She hurried around her room, grabbing a bag for me, packing what looked like med supplies, some food, and a water canteen.

I stood in the doorway, watching, worrying my lip. She came to me and handed me a stack of clothes.

There was no way that these could fit me, but I had faith in Toriel. In the pile was another soft sweater, like mine, but a soft green, almost mint, and a long sleeve undershirt, in a shade slightly lighter, some jeans and underwear set.

I went to the bathroom and tried them on, and sure enough, they fit, right down to the length of the jeans.

I had no idea how it all fit but I wasn’t going to question it. It felt so nice to have clean clothes, not to mention underwear. I returned to the door frame of her room, my other clothes in my hands, folded neatly.

“I can wash those quickly if you’d like.” She said, smiling and handing me a backpack, filled with everything she had prepared for me.

I wasn’t sure how she would manage to do that, but I still wasn’t going to question it.

I was good with all the miracles that were coming my way. She took my clothes and I went to work on lacing up my boots for the journey ahead.

Not five minutes later, she came back with my clothes, smelling fresh and clean, and still warm.

“Thank you,” I said, taking the clothes, and putting them in the bag over my shoulder.

“Of course, my child, are you ready?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Then come with me,” She said taking my hand.

Toriel led me down the stairs, and we continued walking in silence.

With each step, my heart broke a little more. Here I was, walking to the edge of the Ruins, with this woman who had made the ache of losing my mother almost bearable.

I almost wanted to go back. I almost turned around, and went back to the warm home, with amazing food, blissful showers, and a safe place to sleep. I was promised that here. I had no idea what was out there.

We rounded a corner and two magnificent large doors were before us, with columns on each side. There was a symbol on the doors, a circle with two angel wings, and three triangles, inverted, underneath.

“This is where I leave you my child,” Toriel said softly. I looked up at her, trying to find something to say, but couldn’t find the words. I wrapped her in a hug and fought back tears.

“Thank you, for everything,” I whispered.

“Of course, my child. Now go and make me proud.” Toriel whispered hoarsely, tears in her eyes.

“I will,” I responded, for the first time in a while, I wanted to make someone else proud. “I promise.”

She pulled away and wiped tears from my cheeks.

“Now go,” She said.

I nodded unable to speak and made my feet take the steps towards the door. I placed my hand on the door and turned to look back.

“Goodbye,” I whispered, with a small wave.

Seeing her standing there, her hands clasped in front of her, shedding silent tears, made me want to turn back, made me want to make it okay, but I couldn’t. I had to grow up. I had to move on.

I turned and pushed open the heavy doors. There was a ramp, leading upwards, towards another set of beautiful columns. I took a deep breath and pushed forward.

Step by step, I made it to the next set of columns.

It was dark.

Here goes nothing.

I took the final step out of the Ruins, and my foot crunched on something white and cold.

“Oh, _come on!”_ I shouted at no one.

I hated snow more than anything in the world.


	2. ...Deserts Your fight, I'll Go With You

I stared in disbelief at the snow that was falling quietly around me. How did that even work? Was there a climate here? Was the underground big enough for that? I struggled to remember what you needed for a climate from the few science classes that I had taken.

Tall trees loomed all around me in all directions, making me feel small among them. They were leafless and almost stood guard, their dark trunks standing out boldly against the glistening snow. But there was a worn path before me, from the Ruins to… somewhere I hoped. Someone had to have made the path… right?

Taking a deep breath and continuing on, I came upon a small bridge, and behind me, I could no longer see the doors to the Ruins, to Toriel. I felt alone again, abandoned. It gripped me in a way that I hadn’t known when I was with Toriel. She made it all hurt less.

But I was deserted again. In the snow. In a place that I didn’t know.

I sank to the ground, sitting on the frozen wood of the bridge, and let a few tears fall as I hugged my knees to my chest. My thoughts swirled around what I had lost and was still losing. I lost my parents… then Toriel… and anyway back home. Tears fell as soft sobs wracked my frame. It hurt my soul, tearing it into pieces. A piece for each person I lost.

I buried my face in my arms and tried to pull myself together.

“human, dontcha know how to—uh… are you ok?” a deep, cautious voice asked.

God, I wasn’t ready to meet another monster yet. I just wanted to be left alone, so I could feel miserable by myself. And I didn’t want to meet someone else that I could lose or have to leave.

But still, I looked up through my tears and was face to face with a…skeleton? In a blue hoodie, that was more of a parka and looked incredibly warm. It dawned on me just how cold I was in the snow. I started to envy the jacket.

“I’m… fine.” I decided, wiping my tears away.

“you don’t look fine,” he said, raising his…brow bone?

I gave him a curt look and rubbed my face, taking a steadying breath. I had to get myself under control if I wanted to survive.

“Gee, thanks,” I muttered sarcastically from behind my hands.

“i’m supposed to be on watch for humans. but, ya know, i don’t really care about capturing anybody,” he said with a crooked smile, kneeling down in front of me so that we were eye level. He held out his hand to help me up. “i’m sans. sans the skeleton.”

I tried the best smile that I could and started to wonder about the meaning behind his words.

“Thanks, I guess. _______” I offered my name, taking his hand, as he pulled us both to a standing position.

His hand was warm and soft like mine, but all I could see were the bones that made up his fingers and wrist. Along with his hoodie that I envied, he wore a simple white V-neck t-shirt and basketball shorts.

“i’d watch out for my bro though, he’s hell-bent on capturing a human.” Sans said with a small shrug as if there were no reason to worry. “why don’t we go through this gate,” He gestured vaguely to the odd structure over the bridge. “my brother built it, but he made the bars too wide to catch anyone.” Sans said with a chuckle.

I smiled, still not totally sure about this skeleton, but he had an endearment for his brother. Which was touching, considering I hadn’t talked to my brother in two years… Well except for the phone call.

As we walked along—through the snow and the trees didn’t seem so ominous anymore—I wondered what he meant by “hell-bent on capturing a human” meant. We came to a clearing before I could reach a conclusion.

There was what looked like a hiking trail hut—the kind they hand with random wildlife information—and… a lamp? That was very oddly shaped and just sitting in the snow.

“uh, you might want to hide. my brother’s coming.” Sans said, his eyes seeing something that mine couldn’t.

I looked dubiously at the lamp.

“Why?” I mused.

Sans didn’t seem too worried about his brothers capturing skills and I could handle another monster, couldn’t I? Even if he was “hell-bent” on catching me. I didn’t want to hide. And I most definitely did not want to be any closer to the snow than I had to be. I could do this…

… couldn’t I?

Sans looked at me, intrigue flitting across his face as if he were impressed, but I couldn’t tell for sure. I clenched my fists and tensed up, waiting for something... There was no reason to be afraid of a monster. Toriel had taught me that.

“well, here he comes,” Sans said nodding further down the path.

And sure enough, there was a skeleton coming towards us, who towered over both Sans and me, but with a huge smile on his face, but looked slightly annoyed at his brother.

“sup bro?” Sans asked, with a feigned casualty.

“YOU KNOW WHAT’S ‘SUP’ BROTHER.” The skeleton said in a staccato voice, a voice that was loud, but fit exactly what he looked like.

I could tell he wasn’t purposely yelling, but it still grated me, and it didn’t stop some buried memories from coming back. My nails dug into my palms as I tried to keep my cool.

“IT'S BEEN EIGHT DAYS SINCE YOU RECALIBRATED YOUR PUZZLES!”

Puzzles? Yeah. Okay, sure. More puzzles, why the hell not?

I took the time to really look at his brother.

Tall, obviously, but still childlike in a way. He wore polished white armor and a red scarf that whooshed when he walked. I kinda liked it. The red of his scarf matched his boots, that came halfway up his calf-bone-thing. He also wore pants… if I could call them that, they were blue and looked more like a speedo than pants, but they didn’t seem out of place.

The brothers were bickering about something that I had tuned out, but it seemed if San’s brother was getting irritated, and Sans was enjoying it.

Brothers.

“actually, I was just chillin’ here, talking to her,” Sans said, drawing the attention to me.

I glared daggers at him, was he trying to kill me? Wasn’t his brother the one wanting to capture me? Why would he do something so stupid?

He just gave me a crooked smile, like he knew what he was doing. It annoyed me to death. Stupid cocky skeleton.

“why don’t you talk to her too?” he asked.

“SANS I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THAT!!” He said, stomping his foot in frustration, making the ground under me shake a bit.

I took a half step back, shying away from the violent action, behind Sans, who moved in front of me slightly. I kept my eyes glued on the taller skeleton, on guard and ready for the next thing.

“WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH?? I WANT TO BE READY!” He shouted, determined.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. Had he never seen a human before? What did he think that I was? How did Sans know who and what I was, but his brother didn’t? I had to be missing something here…

“I WILL BE THE ONE!! I MUST BE THE ONE!! THEN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL GET THE THINGS I UTTERLY DESERVE!” He said, rolling his R’s, his scarf billowing in the wind dramatically. “RESPECT, RECOGNITION. I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD!! PEOPLE WILL ASK TO BE MY… ‘FRIEND?’ I WILL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING.”

“hmm…” Sans said, a lazy smile on his face. “maybe she can help you.” he said gesturing back to me.

Oh, he irritated me! I glared daggers at him, folding my arms.

“SANS, YOU ARE NOT HELPING!! YOU LAZYBONES!!” Papyrus—isn’t that a font? —said, again, stomping his foot in aggravation.

I flinched again, unwillingly. I took in a sharp breath and focused on not having a panic attack.

“ALL YOU DO IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERYDAY!!”

“hey, take it easy.” Sans said I think for my benefit. “i’ve gotten a ton of work done today.” He said a mischievous look in his eye.

I had a feeling he was going to… if he made a pun so help me God…

“a skele-ton.”

I groaned, and covered my face letting out a small chuckle. He was a jokester. I added it to the list of things that I learned about him.

“SANS!!!” Papyrus yelled in dismay and my sentiment matched his.

“come on, you’re smiling.” the skeleton beside me said and I wasn’t sure if it was to me or his brother. I had a feeling that it was the former.

“I AM AND I HATE IT!!” Papyrus answered. I could sympathize. “WHY DOES SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME HAVE TO DO SO MUCH WORK TO GET RECOGNITION?”

Oh Papyrus, sweetheart. Welcome to the real world.

“wow. sounds like you’re really working yourself… down to the bone.”

Part of me wanted to smack Sans, but the better of me just snickered into the back of my hand.

“UGH!! I WILL ATTEND TO MY PUZZLES!! AS FOR YOUR WORK… PUT A LITTLE MORE… ‘BACKBONE’ INTO IT.” Papyrus said grinning and laughing at his own joke.

He soon dashed off in the direction he came, to, what I assumed, calibrate his puzzles. What the hell was wrong with this place and puzzles? They were all obsessed.

Sans turned back to me and gave a small smile.

“you ok?” He asked again.

“I think so?” I gave, unsure. “Your brother is cool, though,” I said, wrapping my arms around me.

The cold was really starting to get to me, despite the warmth of my clothes. Stupid good for nothing snow. It made me long for the warmth of the Ruins, and of Toriel’s home.

“yeah. all brothers are, in my opinion.” He said with a crooked smile.

“Not all of them,” I muttered under my breath.

There was a reason I hadn’t spoken to my brother in two years. Sans studied me as if doing so would give him an answer to my vague response.

“so, you’re new here?” He asked as if I wouldn’t be.

I nodded. “Day or two.”

“you fell.” It wasn’t a question, but a matter of fact.

“Yeah,” I nudged some snow around with my foot, keeping my eyes trained on it.

“Fell.” I squeezed them shut and took a deep breath and put on a forced smile. “Thanks for…” I gestured vaguely. “I’m gonna…”

I began to keep walking forward, and I heard his footsteps as he followed me. Part of me wanted to know why he was following me, another—stronger—part of me screamed that I shouldn’t get close to anyone down here if I was just going to leave…or lose.

I always lost… I was alone now.

There was another bright glowing orb, but I ignored it, too miserable to really care.

Another monster approached me, and God, I was not ready to talk to anyone right now. I felt the beginning of my soul being pulled into the fight, but it suddenly stopped.

“Hey Sans!” The snowflake (?) called.

The variety of monsters here never ceased to amaze me. I glanced over to Sans, and there he was again, slightly in front of me, as if he had heard my silent pleading for help. I moved closer to him, grateful, as he struck up a casual conversation with the snowflake monster.

I should be doing this… not him… I felt guilty for letting him fight my battle.

“hey snowdrake. what’s goin’ on.” He said casually, taking the attention off of me. I huffed, and

“Still livin’ the dream, ya know?” Snowdrake said. “Trying to prove my dad wrong.” Sans let out a humorless laugh.

“you and me both.”

I frowned at the new information… Sans had a strained relationship with his dad?

I thought of my dad, and tears threatened to spill again. I bit down on my lip hard and closed my eyes to keep them at bay, my hands clenched into fists again.

When had I become such an emotional wreck? Well, I could tell you exactly when…

“he’s gone,” Sans said, as if to calm me down, I nodded, still not trusting myself to open my eyes.

“do you need a minute?” He asked, not being too pushy. Stupid well-meaning skeleton. I nodded again.

“do you want me to go?”

This question really made me think.

Yes, part of me wanted to be left alone to gather myself, to not get close to someone else that I was just going to lose…

But having him here…letting him in… had been more of a relief than I had thought, despite the crippling anxiety that came with it.

He was here, without me asking, without pitying me either.

So, I shook my head, hugging myself, for comfort and to keep the cold at bay.

I didn’t want to be alone. It was selfish but true.

“ok,” was all he said.

I could hear a rustling in front of me, seemingly coming from him, and I dared to open my eyes. He was shrugging out of his jacket., then reaching to give it to me.

“God, no Sans, don’t.” I protested.

I didn’t want to be taken care of. I didn’t need to be… I was fine on my own… I was on my own.

But here he was…

What was he doing? —other than offering me his jacket that I so desperately needed and wanted in this winter.

“take it.” He more ordered than offered. “wouldn’t want you… chilled to the bone.”

I gasped out a bit of hopeless laughter at his pun.

He gave another crooked smile and I took the hoodie from his hands, gripping it tight, more than trying to don it. It was warm and soft in my hands as if it was made of a silky fur on the outside. My fingers ran over the soft texture.

“I don’t need...” I whispered, not entirely sure how to finish the statement as I took off my bag from Toriel reluctantly and shrugged his jacket on.

God, it was the warmth I needed

“i know.” He said with a lazy smile as if he could read my lack of thought.

“I’m not some… I don’t need to…” I stammered, trying to find footing in the words that I wanted to say but couldn’t find.

“never said you were.”

I stared at him, studying him. There was a slight smile on his face that offered amity… comfort.

“Thank you.” I gave a small smile back. “F-for the jacket.” I stuttered, recovering from the emotional moment.

He looked slimmer without the jacket, which was now keeping me warm. His shirt didn’t cling to his ribs, though. It was as if his skin, muscles and everything else that made me up were invisible on him.

Monsters were weird, I concluded. And I loved it.

I finally noticed the trees around me, they were more like evergreens than the towering trunks I had seen earlier. More Christmas-y.

“there’s a town up ahead,” Sans offered casually, gesturing to one of the two paths that were before us. “has food and a place to stay. if you want…”

“That sounds… nice.” I concluded, giving a warmer smile as we started to walk through the snow that wasn’t so bad now that I had Sans’ jacket.

It was almost enchanting. I had never been anywhere like this before above ground.

But… I could hear his voice before I saw him.

I stopped in my tracks and Sans froze beside me.

“oh god.” I heard Sans mutter and take a step closer, so that he was again, in front of me.

Protective… and it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.

“BROTHER! AFTER THINKING ABOUT OUR CONVERSATION EARLIER, I NOW UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE INDEED DONE YOUR JOB OF CAPTURING A HUMAN!! THOUGH YOUR USUAL LAZINESS THREW ME OFF!!” Papyrus said, coming closer, Sans moved closer too.

My eyes widened… What was going on? Did Sans “capture me”? Was that what this was?

I now began to worry exactly what the Royal Guard ensued from earlier.

“BUT FEAR NOT BROTHER, FOR ONE OF MY PUZZLES, SHALL SURELY CAPTURE HER, AND SHE WILL BE TAKEN TO THE CAPITAL, AND THEN, WELL I’M NOT SURE WHAT THEN… BUT I WILL BE POPULAR, AND THEY WILL HAVE NO CHOICE TO MAKE ME THE HEAD OF THE ROYAL GUARD!!!” Papyrus shouted enthusiastically.

 _Captured_? The _Capital_??

“Sans…” I breathed out, wanting to bolt, extremely confused.

He raised his arms, ever so slightly, protectively… but was it protection? There were too many questions and not enough answers, and everything was chaotic in my mind.

“cool bro.” Sans said with feigned disinterest, ignoring me completely—again. “why don’t you go set some of the puzzles up?” He suggested.

My heart raced. Were they both in on this? Was this their game? One would be intimidating, the other would invite me in… and then they’d take me to the Capital? To be what… slaughtered?

I knew I was stupid to let anyone else in. How could I have been stupid!? Why did I trust anyone?

I took a step back, my senses screaming at me to run. I really was alone. I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks.

For the third time, he asked me—

“are you okay?”

Papyrus had gone, but I didn’t care.

“Is that your game then?” I whispered. “Put on this act so you can _lure me in_! So, I’ll just come when you call!?” I started shouting, tears escaping down my cheeks. “I trusted you!”

Shock flitted across his face. He seemed almost hurt as if my accusations stung him.

“what? no. no! hey, that’s not what…” He stumbled for an answer.

I shook my head and turned away from him. I quickly tore his jacket off and threw it to the ground, the cold air assaulting me. I wasn’t the mood to listen. He kept calling to me, but I didn’t turn. I felt betrayed as tears slid down my face.

God, I had decided to trust him. To trust someone, after all of the loss and pain… and he was like all the others… leaving me on my own…

Pain flooded back along with the memories I tried not to think about. The ones that made me feel small, and afraid, and scared. Like a little girl hiding from the nightmares that lurked behind her bedroom door.

And the bitter agony that I really was alone. I didn’t have parents, I didn’t have a family, I didn’t have a home… and I thought maybe… and he just…

I suddenly felt my soul get ripped from my chest as it entered a fight. Another snow-themed monster appeared before me.

I hit the ground running. I didn’t want to fight, so I fled. I ran, crying, not looking where I was going.

Again, if I was paying more attention, I wouldn’t have slipped.

I wouldn’t have fallen.

I flailed, and my arms flew out, to brace for the impact, but it never came.

Strong arms wrapped around me and steadied me on the ice beneath my feet. I knew who it was. I didn’t even have to open my eyes.

“ _Let me go_ ,” I whispered, begging. I couldn’t feel small, weak. Not again. “ _Please_ ,”

“please, _listen_ ,” Sans begged.

I shook my head and buried my face in my hands.

I was stupid, to let him in. Just like I was stupid to let Toriel in. He would leave again... He would hurt me. He would lead me to my own death.

“ _please_ ,” He sounded so broken, as his arms uncurled themselves from around my waist.

My knees shook, and I slowly sunk to the ground sobbing. It was cold, and hard, just like the truth I had to face.

“Why? _Why did you do it?”_ My voice broke. “Why were you so nice? _Why_ …?”

Why did it hurt so much?

I was shaking, and I didn’t know if it was from the cold or not.

“she asked me to.” He said softly.

This wasn’t the answer that I was expecting. I peeked up from behind my hands.

“What?” I squeaked.

“toriel. she was _worried_ about you. she said you jumped at shadows and had little to no self-preservation. she _begged_ me to look after you, more than she had with anyone before.” He rambled, but his explanation… made sense.

Toriel had asked him to look out for me. And he did. The events of the past hour started to rearrange themselves into a less bleak order. That maybe I wasn’t alone. And God I wanted it to be true.

“But Papyrus?” I asked, struggling to make those pieces fit.

“i know, i’m sorry for that. but you couldn’t be his focus… and i know how much he loves his puzzles… and that asking him to do that would make him leave.” He explained, then sat down next to me, and stared at the ground.

“i see how you act when he’s around. you flinch when he gets aggressive, and you shy away from his yelling.”

I looked down, ashamed. I worried my lip. Did he really see right through me?

“and i also know that you don’t just ‘fall’ down here.” He said, lowly.

Oh.

We sat there, silent in the snow. After a while, Sans draped his jacket back around my shoulders hesitantly. It was too warm to shrug off stubbornly.

“I’m sorry.” I murmured, after a while, when my thoughts were collected, and I was out of my panic attack. “I didn’t mean to… I just, have had a hard time seeing the best in people…”

“’sokay, i can totally see how it would seem that way.” He sighed. “are you ok?”

“Not really,” I said truthfully.

He gave a small nod and took a deep breath letting it out slowly.

My fingers slowly declawed themselves from my arms, slid them back into the jacket. I tried to stand but slipped—yet again—but I didn’t fall.

“seems like you keep fallin’ for me.” Sans chuckled in my ear, righting me.

I rolled my eyes, a small genuine smile making it to my lips, and carefully made my way off the icy patch that was under us.

“You’re terrible.” I teased back, walking around the ice.

He laughed, something carefree and calming.

“shall we?” he offered, gesturing back to the path. I nodded, and walked down the path, and carefully around the ice patches.

“wait,” Sans called, pulling my hand back.

“What?” I asked, look at his hand in mine, raising my eyebrows.

He quickly released my hand, and his cheeks flushed a slight blue. I gave an encouraging small smile.

“my brother is up ahead. there’s a puzzle. it’ll be okay.’ He looked down. “my brother is harmless, i _swear_. i know you don’t like being around him—”

I opened my mouth to say something… to explain… but he held his hand up, stopping me.

“—you don’t need to explain it to me, it’s okay. but i promise he won’t hurt you.”

I nodded, trusting his words.

“Thanks,” I said to the ground, my emotions confusing themselves again until I remembered that Sans wasn’t the enemy here.

Sans’ brother did bring back some memories that I didn’t like… and maybe he put me on edge, but I could do a puzzle. I had gotten this far by doing them, hadn’t I? I took a deep breath.

“Okay,” I said, nodding. “Let’s go.”

“you sure?” He asked, hesitantly.

“Yeah,” I said with a slightly fake smile. “You worry too much. I can take care of myself.”

He chuckled. “i don’t doubt that.” He muttered as we walked along.

And sure enough, there was Papyrus, standing across an open field of snow, smiling brightly. I couldn’t help but smile back.

“MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES! THIS ONE IS RATHER…SHOCKING! FOR YOU SEE THIS IS THE INVISIBLE ELECTRICITY MAZE!!” Papyrus called over to us. “THIS ORB WILL DEAL QUITE A SHOCK!”

“Sans…” I took a small step back, worried.

Electrocution did not seem like a fun way to die.

“just wait.” He soothed, drawing closer to me. “go ahead, take a step forward.” He chuckled.

I gave him a wide-eyed look but decided to trust him, begrudgingly. Taking a step, something buzzed, and I flinched, anticipating pain, but Papyrus got zapped instead of me.

“SANS!!! WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?” Papyrus demanded. I might have flinched.

“i think she has to be holding the orb,” Sans said, chuckling, easily seeing the flaw in Papyrus’ plan.

“OH, OKAY.”

Papyrus made his way across the field, his boots leaving clear prints in the snow, in a pattern. He was soon in front of me, towering, holding his orb out to me.

“PLEASE HOLD THIS HUMAN!” He said, making me flinch at the volume of his voice.

But I took it from his hand, an amused expression on my face.

The orb was smooth and shiny, kinda like the Fushigi ball that would break a toe if you dropped it. I rolled it around in my hand, giving it a small smile. Sans nudged my shoulder.

Oh. Right.

I carefully took a step out into the snowy field, the white powder crunching under my boots. Nothing happened. I let out a breath of relief and continued on, following Papyrus’ footprints.

With Sans behind me, I wasn’t panicking as much as I thought I would be. I made my way to the other side of the field and let out the breath I didn’t realize that I was holding.

“YOU SOLVED IT SO EASILY!! …TOO EASILY… HOWEVER, THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE SO EASY!! YOU WILL SURELY BE CONFOUNDED!! I KNOW I AM!” Papyrus struck a pose and dashed off into the snow before us.

I looked at Sans with wide eyes, and laughed, setting the orb on the snow.

“see what i mean?” Sans asked. I nodded. “see what he’s wearing?” I nodded again. “he made it for a costume party and hasn’t taken it off since.”

I smiled softly and looked to where Papyrus had run off to, feeling a sense of endearment for the tall brother as well.

“He’s pretty okay,” I concluded.

I continued walking forward, with Sans by my side. Ahead there was a food stand with a teenage rabbit tending to it.

“you hungry?” He gestured to the stand.

I shrugged, knowing that I probably should eat something… but didn’t want to be a bother. He rolled his eyes and moseyed over to the cart and came back with an ice-cream cone.

“Ice-cream? In the middle of winter? You’ve got to be kidding me.” I eyed the cone dubiously.

Sans rolled his eyes at me. I narrowed my eyes at him—to which he gave me a counter look—and I took the ice-cream from his hand. I hesitantly licked at the ice-cream and immediately felt better.

It wasn’t cold like I thought it would be, though it did taste like ice-cream. It made me feel more relaxed, less tense like it was lavender-infused or something. All of the anxiety and hurt that I had felt and gone through seemed to fade ever so slightly more.

Sans was grinning at me, as I licked at the cone in my hand.

“How?” I began.

“monster food. it’s mostly magic,” He explained almost nonchalantly.

I mean, sure it made sense. I still wasn’t sure about the sales tactic, of having ice-cream in the middle of a winter wonderland, but it was good, nonetheless. I offered it out to him.

“Have some,” I prompted.

“you should really eat it all. you need the energy.” He quickly denied and I gave him a look.

“And you don’t? You bought it; you should at least get some.” I pressed, not giving him a choice, as he had done to me.

“heh. well…”

He took the cone from my hand and… licked it? With a tongue that wasn’t there? I didn’t think about it too hard, because he passed the cone back to me, and I continued eating it, feeling better with every bite.

We walked along, in the snow—God, when would the snow end? —when I noticed a snowball and a hole in the distance. I figured it was a sort of game, but I had nowhere near enough hand-eye-coordination for something like that.

Wiping my slightly sticky hands on my jeans after finishing the cone, I counted two more sentry stations ahead of us, then a dead end. So instead I headed south, past the ball game, sighing at it wistfully.

“Can you do magic?” I asked him as we trekked along.

Part of me was curious. His silence made me nervous.

“Oh, God, should I not have asked that?’ I said, rushing. “I’m so sorry, you totally don’t have to answer.” I stumbled over my words, my face growing red.

I looked down, embarrassed when I noticed he was laughing. I smiled and bit my bottom lip, still not entirely over my embarrassment, but my anxiety lessened a bit.

“you’re different, ya know that?” He said, still chuckling a bit.

“Gee thanks, just what every girl wants to hear.” I teased.

He smiled and shook his head.

“yes, i can.” He said, sort of sadly.

“Can I see?” I asked.

“i pray you never do.” He said softly—mysteriously.

I frowned at his words, trying to figure out what they meant—what he meant.

“Why?” I mused aloud, indulging my curiosity.

He didn’t say anything for a moment.

“Or not… you don’t have to.” I said. “Sorry, if I was being pushy, or invasive…”

“no, that’s not it...” He trailed off. He chuckled dryly and shook his head. “it’s just a lot to explain, i guess.”

“Oh,” I replied, looking at the ground.

“here,” Sans said, nudging my arm with his. “watch.” He gestured towards the snowball, not twenty yards from us.

It began to move, surrounded with a slightly blue tinge, gliding across the ground swiftly and easily. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was incredible. The snowball rolled easily into the hole, and with the completion of the game, a red flag raised.

I was overtaken in wonder.

“That’s so cool.” I breathed out, looking at the flag.

I picked up the few gold pieces on the ground from the snowball game and offered them to him. He shook his head.

“Keep them.” He said.

“How did you…?” I said, shoving the gold into my bag.

“well, magic obviously.” He said.

I gave him a pointed look.

“gravity magic.” He explained further

“So like telekinesis?” I pondered.

“yeah, something’ like that.” He said, rather glum again—and again I felt like I was missing something.

I nudged his shoulder and offered a soft smile.

“Thanks, for, ya know, showing me.”

Showing me what he could do in a way, though he was hesitant about it, was almost as if a wall had come down between us. Yet it was one that he took down… not me. As if he met me in the middle.

He chuckled and shook his head. “you are somethin’ else.”

“So you keep telling me.” I drawled.

I ran my hand over the pine needles as we walked along,

“Were there others before me?” The question had been burning inside, ever since he explained to me what Toriel had asked him to do.

“yeah,” He muttered like it was a bad memory. “they’re all, um…”

“Gone?” I offered with some tact.

“yeah. they weren’t all as determined as you are.” He said. “they were just kids though,”

I couldn’t fathom how a child could make it through here, but, maybe with their innocence, and wonder, and imagination, it would prove too hard. They didn’t know the dangers of the real world yet.

Sans and I walked in thoughtful silence, we came upon a table with spaghetti and a microwave. I laughed, despite myself. Sans did too. There was a note:

‘HUMAN, PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI! LITTLE DO YOU KNOW THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP! DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU!! YOU’LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT, THAT YOU WON’T BE PROGRESSING!! THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!!”

I chuckled at the note. The spaghetti was frozen to the table, however, and I was not going to sacrifice my fingernails trying to get it onto the adjoining microwave.

I could see what Sans meant by harmless. Papyrus seemed really cool, and nice.

I just wish I wasn’t so on edge around him. Yet another thing is taken from me because…

I sighed. Bygones are bygones. No use in crying over spilled milk. A new day… a new me.

“uh... you good?” sans asked.

I was pulled from my thoughts, wallowing, and turned to look at him. He looked slightly worried.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” I replied, leaving the note on the table. “Just… thinking.”

“come on,” Sans nodded towards the path.

We headed over, and I shoved my hands in the pockets of Sans’ jacket, my fingers freezing. I wished for the sunshine and warmth of my hometown. Sure, we melted during the summer, but it didn’t snow in the winter. Near Mt. Ebott it snowed almost every winter, and I hated it.

There was a sign at the head of the path:

‘Warning: Dog Marriage. (Yes, you read that right.)’

I looked to Sans for an answer, and he just shrugged. Again, monsters were weird, and I still loved it.

Sans was watching me as we strolled along and was suddenly in front of me when I tripped over something hidden in the snow. He chuckled and set me right. I glared at him a little and bent down to see what I tripped over.

It was a switch. I huffed at it. I could hear Sans laughter. And despite my disgruntled feeling for the thing, I smiled a bit pressed it, and heard a clicking sound.

This place and its puzzles.

I decided to walk down to the southern path, walking carefully—no more switches will trip me, thank you very much— and made my way over to what looked like lowered spikes.

My heart yearned for Toriel and the Ruins. Crossing a little bridge, with no handrails that sent my anxiety for a spin, I felt my soul being pulled into a fight. I smiled.

I was ready for this one.

I came upon two dogs.

“What’s that smell?” One asked and the other mimicked the first dog’s words.

“If you’re a smell…”

“...identify yoursmelf!” They finished each other’s sentences.

“Where’s that weird smell?”

“It smells like Sans… but not.” The dogs pondered.

I looked to Sans, who was frozen, not sure what to do. I gave him a reassuring smile. I was okay, I could do this. My brain—or was it my soul? — finally supplied the names of these dogs: Dogamy, and Dogaressa. They seemed to be snuggling each other…

I slowly approached the dogs as my first move, and held out my hand, for them to smell, like I would for new dogs back home. They seemed to sniff my hands and Sans’ jacket. I could feel them become less suspicious of me. Their attack is what I wasn’t ready for.

It was circles of little hearts, coming from both of them, towards another, but some of them were blue. I didn’t know what that meant and thinking back to the Vegetoid, I moved into one, and suddenly felt a sharp pain spread through my soul. I gasped, trying to get air back into my lungs.

“shit.” I heard Sans curse, yelling my name.

I looked up, shocked, panting from effort. That was the first time he had ever used my name.

“stop on blue!” He called to me.

His words registered, and I nodded, and gave him a weak smile, pushing myself back up to fight. He looked extremely tense, and like he was ready to jump in front of me to save me. I didn’t need to be saved this time… right?

Since the dogs were close, I went to pet one, and it seemed to let me.

I get ready for their next attack, and almost had a heart attack when I saw it. It was two gigantic axes, heading straight for me. I squawked as they came down on me, and moved my soul out of the way, but it wasn’t enough. I was still in the way. Even if my soul didn’t get hit, my body was going to be.

Okay, maybe I did need to be saved. God, I really needed to be saved.

I closed my eyes and waited for the attack, the blow that would probably end me, but it never came.

I felt my soul back inside my chest, safe and sound.

I opened my eyes and saw Sans beside me, his hands glowing a fierce blue, snarling deeply at the two dogs. The mere sound of it made me tense up in fear, thankful that his anger wasn’t directed at me.

The two axes were held in the air, glowing blue like his hand. Gravity magic.

“move.” He growled—to me, I think—but my feet wouldn’t work.

I was too startled by the scene before me, my brain not keeping up this time in what was happening.

I let out a strangled noise and fell back into the snow. It was frigid under my hand and seemed to pull me back into reality.

I scrambled behind him, hyperventilating.

A snarl escaped his lips as he threw the axes back toward the dog who quickly fled from the scene and the fury that radiated off of Sans. He stood there still, frozen in anger and maybe fear. I wasn’t sure.

“Sans?” I asked softly, reaching out to him meekly.

Sans whipped around and glared at me, his left eye burning blue, like his hands.

I stared, wide-eyed at him, tears pricking my eyes. My hand cradled close to my chest.

“It’s okay,” I pleaded with him, taking a small step back, not sure of what he was going to do next.

He immediately squeezed his eyes shut and balled his hands into fists. He struggled through a few deep breaths before opening his eyes again, the blue fire fading from his hands.

When he looked at me again, his eyes were back to normal, the two little pinpricks, looking earnestly into mine, screaming a silent apology. I stared at him, shock on my face, and fear in my soul.

He backed away slowly.

I then realized what he had done. He took my soul out of the fight, and replaced it with his own, taking the threat of the attack on himself.

He saved me.

“Sans…” I breathed out. My hand reached for him.

“i’m sorry. i’m so sorry _______, i’ll go.” He said painfully, going to turn away.

“What? _No_ ,” I interjected. “Sans _please_ ,” I took a step toward him.

“i’m so sorry.” He whispered, countering the step I took forward with a step back.

“Sans, please, I… I _need_ you.” I cried out. “Don’t _leave please. Don’t leave me!_ Everyone else has left me, _please Sans, not you too_. _”_

Tears slipped down my cheeks at the words that I didn’t want to admit but did.

“I’m _scared_ , and I’m _so_ alone and… I _can’t_ … Sans _please_.”

He studied me, looking like he was going to bolt at any moment, but he didn’t. He let out a ragged sigh and wrapped me in a hug. He was warm, despite his lack of jacket; warm and strong.

I let sobs rack my frame, my panic attack getting the better of my judgment. I could feel his fingers curl themselves into my hair as he mumbled apologies.

We stayed like that for a long while, as the panic slowly drained my system, along with my tears. My soul slowly pulled itself back together. Sans didn’t stop apologizing to me, so matter how much I had told him to stop.

Rubbing my face and looking down, exhaustion swept over me in a wave, and I suddenly wasn’t sure of my own feet.

“you need to rest.” He said, eyeing me warily.

I gave a small nod and pulled away from him, wrapping my arms around myself.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I…you don’t have to stay… it was selfish of me.” My voice was so small as tears kept falling silently.

“________,” Sans called gently, his hand stretched towards me. “it’s not selfish to not want to be alone. it’s not selfish to ask for help.”

My eyes met his, then they flickered to his hand. I wanted to take his hand. I wanted to believe in his words… that I could not be alone… that I could ask for help.

But I hesitated.

“will you let me take you somewhere warm? safe? where no one will try to hurt you. you can rest, and eat something?” He offered, looking at me, his eyes filled with hope.

I could give him enough trust, just this once. I wanted warm. I wanted safe.

I nodded and took his hand. It was warm against my frigid fingers.

I could trust him. At least this once... I didn’t have to be alone.

He let out a sigh of relief. A smile played at my lips.

“No more puzzles?” I asked, letting the smile break through, biting my bottom lip.

He let out a chuckle. “No more puzzles.” He promised.

I picked up my bag from the snow—it had gotten thrown during the fight— and looked to him for some direction.

He simply reached his hand out into the empty space before us, and his fingertips glowed blue with magic. His fingers easily slid into the air around us, disappearing, as if they were in water, pulling apart reality before me. His hand traced all the way down to the ground, glowing blue, and cutting a doorway in front of us, to somewhere I never had been or seen before.

“do you trust me?” He asked, holding his hand out. I nodded and took it, and we stepped through the doorway through reality together.

Now I only had a thousand questions.

But those questions were put on hold when I took notice of where he had taken me—through a portal, maybe?

It was a diner and bar, warm and cozy, made of wood, reminding me of a cabin, with different monsters, all chatting happily. Most of them said hello to Sans, one of them calling him ‘Sansy’ to my amusement.

Yet, these weren’t what held most of my interest.

It was the bartender. He was made of fire, his body cackling like a bonfire. A harmless Human Torch. Older, too, it seemed. He wore a white button-up under a black vest, and a bowtie, and a pair of spectacles that seemed to float where his eyes should be with no nose to support them.

I felt a twinge in my heart, as he reminded me of my grandfather.

Sans, nodded to the fire bartender, who crackled and hissed a response—that reminded me of an actual fire—and led me to a booth to the side, and I slid in on the one side, and he the other. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the bartender.

“his name is grillby.” Sans filled in, “this is his place.”

“Oh,” I acknowledged, tearing my eyes away as my eyes swept the room again.

The bartender—Grillby—brought out a plate for me, with a burger and fries on it. He moved so gracefully; it was mesmerizing. I watched in awe and barely got out a thank you. He crackled a response, that I had no idea what it meant. He hesitated for a moment, then went back to the bar, and continued to clean glasses.

“You’re not gonna eat?” I asked Sans, putting ketchup on my burger.

“nah.”

I gave him a stern look.

“You need to eat too,” I said, taking a bite of the burger—which tasted amazing like the ice-cream did earlier, but I expected nothing less. I felt my strength returning.

“yeah well…” He shrugged.

I studied him for a moment more, and then dropped the matter. There was something more that he wasn’t telling me about the subject, and that was okay… I could respect that.

“So that doorway?” I mused.

“magic,” He said.

“Well, no duh.” I rolled my eyes.

He chuckled, as I took another bite from my burger.

“fine. You eat i’ll talk.” He proposed.

“Fine,” I agreed—besides from the first few bites of the burger I realized how hungry I really was.

“they’re doorways through time, and space, i suppose.” He began as I munched on a fry. “it’s like knowing i’ll be somewhere, and getting there, before the destined time. i know this place fairly well, and well, here we are.” He explained.

“So… did we time travel?” I asked, finishing off my burger and wiping my hands on my jeans.

“no, that’s where the space part comes in, we just moved, sorta. time is fluid and can be bent, and so can space. i can use both, to move places, without changing the time.”

“Huh,” I mulled over what he said. “Is that how you caught me all those times?” I asked, piecing things together.

He grinned and nodded.

“klutz.” He drawled.

I simply rolled my eyes, brushing off the comment.

“Are we in that town then? The one you talked about?”

He nodded. “yeah, it’s called snowdin. my brother and i have a home not far from here.” He said, stealing a fry from me.

I gave him a playful glare.

“now, what about you?” He asked.

I pushed my mostly eaten food away from me and sighed.

“What about me?” I questioned back.

“what? i don’t get some answers too?” He raised a browbone.

I stared at him and thought it over. I supposed it was fair… I just didn’t know exactly what I wanted to tell him… or confirm by saying it aloud.

“I suppose…” I decided.

“why did you fall?” His tone shifted to something softer and more cautious.

Oof.

Okay, so we were diving headfirst into this.

“I… got a call from my brother…” I struggled to find the right words, clenching my fists. “I haven’t spoken to him in a few years… he. He told me…” I took a deep breath keeping my eyes trained on the table. “There was an accident…my parents are… I couldn’t finish. “I’m… on my own now.”

“so, you fell?” He interjected, not needing a further explanation to which I was grateful.

“I tripped,” I admitted sheepishly.

He laughed.

“of course, you did,”

I felt my cheeks grow warm.

Even though I had just… he made it hurt less. Like Toriel did… but in a way that I didn’t know I needed. It was nice… to be able to talk and not get pressured into it.

“my brother bothers you?”

Well, I suppose that was a lighter subject.

“I, um… yeah,” I confessed. “Loud noises… and I… I went through some stuff when I was younger with my brother… which is why we don’t talk… so, yeah,” I gave a hopeless smile. “I’m sorry, Papyrus seems really nice… I just…”

“hey, no don’t apologize.” Sans rushed out. “it’s okay. thanks for telling me.”

I gave a small smile and wrapped my arms around myself.

“I really haven’t had a chance to stop and think about it I guess.” I drummed my finger on the table. “I was just thrown into… whatever this is… and…”

“you’re not alone,” Sans reminded me softly.

I let out a hopeless laugh.

“What am I even supposed to do? I… I can’t exactly go back home… the funerals… I’m gonna miss them…” I hid my face in my hands, the weight of it all crashing down, drowning me.

“hey, hey. it’s okay.” He consoled.

“How is it okay?” I asked weakly, my hands falling to my lap.

He didn’t seem to have an answer for that.

“one day at a time,” He whispered. “one next right step…”

“New day… new me,” I responded with my mantra.

There was a smile on his face, and it mirrored on mine.

“Sorry.” I murmured.

“don’t apologize. it’s not your fault.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, taking a deep cleansing breath.

“are you ready to go?” He asked, looking at my mostly finished plate of food.

“Yeah, I guess. Where to?” I questioned.

“well, there’s an inn down the way, or you can come stay with paps and me.” He offered timidly.

A smile grew on my face and it felt warm.

“Your place sounds great,” I replied.

“do you wanna take a shortcut, or walk through town?”

His question made me think.

I did want to see where we were outside of this cozy little diner—to give myself some sense of direction—but going out into the snow didn’t sound like the most appealing thing in the world.

But… walking to clear my head might be good for me.

“We can walk.” I decided. “If you don’t mind,”

Sans shook his head, a smile on his face as he led me outside.

The town was absolutely lovely.

Of course, it was all covered in snow, but it wasn’t the bitter cold like out in the forest. It was like… Christmas.

There were fairy lights everywhere and a decorated tree in the center of the town square. There were monsters milling around it, most of them a variation of woodland creatures, and all uniquely charming.

Sans and I passed a library, and came upon a cabin-like home, two stories, and decorated in multi-colored Christmas lights as well. It looked warm and inviting, and there was a wreath on the door.

Sans stopped in front of the door, with a sheepish smile on his face. It dawned on me that this is where he and Papyrus lived. He took a keyring from his pocket and selected a key, before unlocking the door, and opening it for me.

“home sweet home.” I heard him mutter.

I stepped inside.


	3. Stay With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovelies!
> 
> Okay, so this chapter took a lot of revising and totally deviates from OMB's chapter three so get ready! Also, we have Sans' perspective in this chapter--perspectives switch at line breaks.
> 
> I love seeing your comments and your kudos. They mean the absolute world to me. 
> 
> Enjoy,  
> Mamma Marri

The warmth of his home hit me like a brick wall, making my eyes water; yet, I welcomed it with open arms. I still had grown used to the frigid air outside and it felt heavenly inside.

My eye took in his home, and from what I could see, the walls were a muted maroon color, playing off the dense blue carpet underfoot. It was warm and inviting in more ways than one.

Sans came in behind me and tossed the keys on a table that was against the wall to my right. Along with the table there seemed to be a green couch, and wooden end table, and a TV with a stand. My eyes followed the west side, up a flight of stairs, which I assumed was a second floor with bedrooms.

“make yourself at home,” he offered. “i’m gonna make sure there’s clean stuff for you upstairs.”

“Sans you don’t—” I started to interject, but he was already up the stairs, leaving me in the big room alone.

I took a deep breath—trying not to let the fact that I was alone in a strange place again bother me—and their house smelled just like Sans’ jacket: something woody… musky maybe?

I kicked out of my boots and left them by the door, letting my socked feet sink into the plush carpet. Running my fingers through my hair, I explored a bit more.

I slipped my bag off and left it on the floor beside the table that Sans had thrown his keys on. In front of me, I could see a kitchen, which had all the necessities. The floor was a soft yellow and orange checkered pattern that matched the soft yellow walls.

Feeling unsure still, I made my way over to the couch and curled up in the corner of it.

‘ _Don’t impose_.’ My mother’s voice rang through my head.

I halfheartedly shoved the thought aside and tried to sort through the day, what was good, what was bad, what I could handle and what I couldn’t.

“there’s clean stuff upstairs if you wanna shower.” Sans—and his voice—came out of nowhere and I nearly jumped a foot in the air.

“Don’t! Do that!” I scolded, trying to restart my heart.

“sorry.” He said, sitting next to me on the couch, but not too close.

Nor did he lean against the back like I was, curled up, with my knees tucked in front of me. No, he was sitting on the edge, leaning his elbows on his knees.

“i just made sure there were clean towels, and sheets and stuff upstairs for you. you can stay in my room for as long as you’re here.”

“Oh, God Sans, thank you but you don’t have to do that. I’m okay on the couch. Or even the floor. Don’t—” he held up his hand to stop me, “—inconvenience yourself…” I finished.

He shook his head.

“trust me, it’s not an inconvenience. it really isn’t.”

I looked down at my hands, but his calling of my name made me lift my eyes.

“let someone take care of you. let me.” He pleaded softly.

I mulled over the thought, and recalled his earlier statement: that it was okay to ask for help… If help meant a warm shower and bed to sleep in… I guess I could manage that.

“I’ll go shower then,” I said with a small smile.

“only door on the right."

I took my bag with me, and headed upstairs, carefully holding the handrail—so I didn’t trip…again—and made my way to their bathroom.

I flicked on the lights, and closed the door behind me, locking it. I placed my bag on the counter, and immediately went to stripping my cold and semi-damp clothes as the frost and snow had melted into them. I hung Sans’ jacket on the back of the door.

The bathroom was blue, and probably on the small side to some, but not to me. It was about the size of the one I had in my childhood home, with a sink, toilet, and shower with a tub. There was a small window covered with frost on the back wall in the shower, filtering in soft light from outside. I could see the colors of the Christmas lights that were on the gable of the house shining through.

As Sans had said, there were towels hanging on racks just outside of the shower, again blue. It made me smile.

Neatly folded on the counter next to my bag, there was a folded pile of… something. Upon closer examination, I saw that they were clothes: a white t-shirt, grey sweatpants and a pair of socks. I smiled in spite of myself.

‘ _let someone take care of you. let me_.’

My mind echoed his words as I started the water of the shower and waited for it to warm, leaving the clothes where they were for when I got out.

I took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. The girl peering back was a little wild looking, with her wide eyes, messy hair, and the determined look on her face. I gave the mirror a smile, the reflection looking more like me again.

Stepping into the shower, I tugged the curtain across and let out a sigh of relief. The warm water was more than heavenly.

I took care in washing, slowly unwinding under the hot water. It almost made me forget the frosty wonderland outside.

While doing so, I thought about Sans, and who he was, and what he had done for me.

Part of me, the not so nice part, said that he was only doing it because Toriel had asked him to, and that was it.

Yet another part of me thought it was something more than that. That it had to be more than that…even if that’s where it started.

He was so gentle and cautious and seemed to know exactly how to navigate my panic attacks and mental breakdowns… as if he were practiced. As if he were there too.

Slowly I pieced together the things that I had missed before. Sans… Sans was broken like me. Or had been… My heart fell for the kind skeleton who was on his own fending for him and his brother. Maybe he was someone who could understand after all.

Shutting off the water reluctantly, I reached for a towel and began drying off. I scrounged through my bag for my toothbrush, towel securely wrapped around me. I found it, along with toothpaste that Toriel must have had somewhere. I silently thanked her.

I pulled myself together, slowly, on the outside.

Brushing my teeth, then hair, then toweling my hair again before finally brushing it one last time into something respectable. I got dressed, in the clothes that Sans had given to me, and inhaled deeply. Everything he’d given me so far seemed to always smell strongly of wood and rain. A comfort, I thought, recalling my hometown, though he had no idea.

Maybe it was a sign. Maybe it was a coincidence. Whatever it was, it felt safe. Like home.

I hung up my towel and stashed everything else, including my dirty clothes, back in my bag. I then took Sans’ jacket off the hook and unlocked the door, I headed into the hallway.

I assumed the room across the hall, was Sans’ and was correct when his voice perked up when I knocked softly.

“yeah?” Sans called from somewhere inside.

“Can I come in?” I asked meekly.

I could hear him chuckle.

“yes, you can, come on.” He teased me half-heartedly, “i’m not gonna bite.”

I pushed the door open and took in his room.

It was big, but semi-empty. There was a bed in the right corner, and a dresser with a lamp beside it, but no other furniture. There was a window above his bed, and, on the right wall, a slider door to what looked like an outside deck. The walls were the same reddish color as downstairs, but my feet were on hardwood flooring.

He was sitting on his bed, waiting for me. I dropped my bag on the ground by the door, which I closed, and set his jacket down on top of my bag.

“you look better.” He commented.

“I feel better too. Thanks, for everything.” I said with a smile and leaned against the wall. “Hey Sans?” My worry overcame my thoughts to stay quiet. “Can I ask you something?”

“yeah?” He looked at me, with a confused smile, raising his browbone.

“Are you okay?” I finally asked the question he hadn’t stopped asking me since the moment we met.

He looked at me, and was silent, content a look on his face as if no one had ever asked him that before. Or as if he never stopped to think about it.

“today was a better day.” He finally said. “meeting you…” He smiled and shook his head looking down.

I nodded understanding and went over to sit next to him on the bed. I looked out at the wall before us, trying to figure out how to proceed.

“I’m probably not the best person to say this… but let someone take care of you,” I repeated his words from earlier. “Let me.”

He looked at me, slightly shocked, yet, in awe, as if I was something he had never seen before. I would have given anything to know what he was thinking.

“no one ever…” He started, looking at his hands in his lap. “why?”

“You… were right. I don’t want to be alone… and I know you don’t want to be either…” I trailed off, not sure where I was going with that.

We sat there, silent for a moment until he gave a hopeless laugh and flopped back onto the bed. I carefully laid back too, staring at the ceiling, my muscles rejoicing, now that they were able to relax.

“stay?” He asked, staring at the ceiling with me.

I looked at him, the question of what he meant burning in my eyes.

“stay, so we can work this out together. be a mess together. we don’t have to be alone anymore.”

I nodded and gave a soft smile. It sounded so nice… not being alone… staying somewhere that I was wanted.

“Don’t have to be alone…” I murmured.

He seemed to relax at my words, which made me… happy. I think.

“SANS!!” It sounded like Papyrus was in the room with us, though there was no evidence of this.

I jumped, yelling a curse, and sinking onto the floor, trying to calm my heart. Sans was by my side in an instant, worry written clear on his face. I waved him off.

“I’m okay… just startled.” I panted out. “Go see what he wants and explain?” I offered.

“right. i’ll be back.” He said, checking me over again before standing and slipping out the door.

I breathed deeply through my mouth and leaned my head against his bed, letting my heart return to its normal rate. I could hear Papyrus’ staccato voice from downstairs faintly but wasn’t really interested on the conversation.

I smiled, thinking about our conversation.

Sans wanted me here. He wanted me to stay, so we could help each other. I let out a small giggle of the thought of not being alone. Good Lord I must be sleep deprived.

I slowly pulled myself back on to Sans’ bed, and laid on top of the covers, in the corner by the wall, hugging a pillow and curling up small. Sleep didn’t take long to overtake me. My eyes were barely closed.

****

I was safe and warm, curled up in my father’s arms. He smiled down at me as he carried me along, inside, away from the outside world and its dangers. I wrapped my arms around him and clung to him, tears pricking my eyes.

“Come home, sweet pea,” He whispered.

“I _can’t_ ,” My voice broke as he set me down. “I’m… I’m trapped down here, dad,”

He sat in his recliner, and I was back in my childhood home. Small, safe, protected, and not alone.

“Your home is not above,” His smile was kind and wise.

“Dad, _what do I do_?” I sat cross-legged on the floor. “You and mom are _gone_.” I hugged my knees. “I’m alone,”

“You’re never alone,” He tilted my chin back then pulled me into his lap. “We are always apart of you. We are always with you.”

“I miss you dad,” I whispered.

“I know, but you are so strong _______, and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. Don’t give up. _Stay determined_ ,”

I nodded and heard my name being called from afar. A familiar voice that promised comfort and safety as well.

“__________?” Sans’ voice was worried and soft. “hey, wake up, it’s just a dream.”

I blinked, tears obscuring my vision.

“Sans,” I threw my arms around him with reckless abandon, crying. “He was there, my dad…” I babbled out.

Sans sat on the edge of the bed and held me, pulling me into his lap after a while, just like my father had.

“It hurts so much,” I confessed into his shoulder. “How am I supposed to do this on my own? They’ve… they’ve always been there…”

He rubbed my back, not saying anything. And I didn’t want him to. Not really.

“it… it gets better.” He murmured softly. “you learn how to do things on your own… but there’s always a part that wishes they were here. that they could answer questions… or at least say something…”

His words were muddled through the fog of sleep in my mind. I thought that I imagined them… but something in me knew that he had said them.

I awoke again, tears streaming silently down my face, but even in the darkness I could see that I wasn’t alone. Sans was sprawled out on his back beside me, fast asleep.

I wiped my tears away, curling up next to him, comforted in his warmth and gentle breathing. It was enough to lull me back to a dreamless sleep.

When the morning came, and light filtered in through the sliders I couldn’t sleep any longer. The bed beside me was empty, and I felt a pang of hurt in my chest. Where had Sans gone?

I ran my fingers through my hair and headed downstairs cautiously. I wasn’t sure if Papyrus was still home, which wasn’t the worst thing, but if Sans wasn’t home… I didn’t know how their conversation had gone last night…

I was going to head back to his room when I smelled coffee coming from the kitchen, and the sizzle of something frying on the stove. Papyrus must be cooking, though the thought of the already energetic skeleton with coffee worried me.

I trudged tiredly into the kitchen to find Sans and Papyrus both. The former making coffee and the latter cooking what looked like eggs and bacon at the stovetop.

“GOOD MORNING HUMAN,” Papyrus shouted, energetic as usual.

I shied away slightly and yawned.

“not so loud bud, it’s too early for her,” Sans chided and gave me a small smile to which I returned.

“Good morning Papyrus,” I tried to sound coherent but might have failed slightly.

The tall skeleton seemed at ease with me, as if I’d been a part of his morning routine for years. I was silently grateful and wondered what Sans had said last night.

“SANS SAID THAT YOU WOULD NEED FOOD WHEN YOU WOKE UP, AND ALSO SUGGESTED THAT I MAKE YOU CAFFEINE! AND OF COURSE, I THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WAS UP TO THE NOBLE TASK!!” His lowered volume thrown out the window by the end of his words, but he tried at least.

“Thanks.” I smiled again, hugging my midriff, and leaning against the door jam.

I watched as Papyrus cooked —eggs, by the looks of it—and relaxed. That sleep had really done me some good. I wasn’t as anxious around Papyrus, instead, I found him commending.

“coffee?” Sans offered me a warm mug filled with black coffee.

“Cream and sugar?” I mused, taking note of where he pulled things from.

With my coffee properly sweetened, I leaned against the counter next to Sans, waiting for Papyrus to finish up.

Part of me worried whether Sans had gotten enough sleep or not. It looked more like not, but I wasn’t entirely sure… I was slightly guilted that I was the cause of his lack of sleep.

But he smiled reassuringly at me and those fears seemed to fade a little.

When breakfast was done, I leaned against the wall, with a cup of coffee in my hands, talking with Papyrus while he washed the dishes. He cheerfully turned me down when I offered to do them, and something inside me didn’t sit right that I wasn’t cleaning after a meal.

He chatted on about his job, and puzzles, and friend Undyne, who taught him to cook. When I asked if I could meet her, Sans clenched his jaw, and shook his head.

Moments later, Papyrus dashed—literally— off to his puzzles, which left Sans and I alone in the house.

“Anything planned for the day? More puzzles maybe?” I mused, curling up in the corner of the couch.

“i work, most days. gets the time to pass.” He said settling next to me.

“Why aren’t you at work now?” I asked raising my eyebrows and he gave a sheepish smile.

“kinda afraid to leave you here alone.” He admitted.

“I’m okay, Sans,” I clarified.

“i know. i do. but after last night…” He trailed off, looking down.

“I’m sorry… I…” My gaze fell as I wrapped my arms around myself again.

“hey, i know what it’s like… all things considered, last night was probably one of the best nights of sleep i’ve had in a while.” He confessed. “i’m just worried about you… i want to be here if you need me.”

“Don’t… put your life on hold for me,” I mumbled meekly. “I… I can… I’m fine.”

He called my name softly and I looked over to him, timid.

“you don’t have to do this alone remember?” His voice was gentle, calm. “i’m here… i know what it’s like to lose parents… to be on my own… let me…”

I nodded and gave a small smile.

“Thanks,” I whispered, then smiled as I registered what he said. “Best night of sleep huh?” I teased.

He chuckled and looked down sheepishly.

“yeah,” He admitted. “it’s nice to not be alone at night.”

I nodded in agreement.

“So, who’s Undyne?” I mused.

Sans took a sharp breath in.

“she’s the head of the royal guard. works for asgore. her job is to capture humans that fall and deliver them to asgore to be… harvested.” He chose his words very carefully.

“But she’s friends with Papyrus?” I frowned as I thought of the innocence of his brother.

“she’s a great friend to him… but impulsive… she doesn’t stop to ask very many questions.” He gave.

I made a soft thoughtful sound and pondered for a bit trying to work out Undyne’s character.

After a while I made my way upstairs and got dressed for the day, feeling a bit more like myself when Sans suggested that we—I—go and see the rest of Snowdin.

It was a good idea but the thought of going back out into the cold was… unappealing. Sensing my discomfort Sans stood and picked up his jacket from the bed and handed it to me. I gave him a dubious look.

“Don’t you get cold?” I asked, not wanting to deprive him of his jacket.

“nah, i just wear it cuz it's comfortable, and makes a good pillow for naps on the go.” He explained, as I took the jacket from his hands, still not putting it on.

“You don’t get cold?” I asked, with more interest. He shook his head. “But you’re always so warm!” I half-complained.

It wasn’t fair.

“and you’re always cold, wear the jacket.” He half-scolded. “why are you always so cold?” He asked.

“It’s snowing outside?” I said if it were obvious. “I’m not used to it. I like sunny days and warm weather.” I sighed wistfully, wondering when the next time I’d see one of those days would be. I shrugged his jacket on.

He didn’t say anything. I worried if I had upset him, but there was no hint of discomfort in his demeanor.

We walked out the door, and Sans locked it behind us. He led me into town and walked past a library—whose name was spelled wrong—that would be useful when I got bored. I wondered what kind of books it had. I decided not to dwell.

As we walked, everyone seemed to know Sans and gave greetings, which ensued introductions of who I was. All of the monsters seemed nice, none of them hostile. I questioned mentally a bunny monster who was walking a cinnamon bunny… but didn’t comment.

It was a peaceful day, until Sans tensed up next to me, and grabbed my hand.

“Sans?” My eyes swept the town around us, trying to find the source of his anxiety.

With my hand in his, he began to drag me to the nearest building—Grillby’s— but not before…

“SANS!” An unfamiliar female voice bellowed, and I cringed.

My eyes met a… fish woman…? She was a teal color and had brilliant red hair tied up into a ponytail. She was wearing armor, with an eyepatch that added to her fierceness. Her face was twisted into a snarl.

“HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING HER!?” She accused, her voice aggressive and furious as she stalked towards us.

Sans stopped trying to pull me inside as we stopped standing to face the menacing and raging fish-woman.

 _“undyne. walk. away_.” Sans gritted out, his voice venomous, taking a step out in front of me, raising his arms protectively.

Oh. This was Undyne. I could see why Sans didn’t want me to meet her now. Part of me wished that I never had in that moment.

“How _dare you!”_ Undyne snarled. “ _Seven_! We need _seven_ to be free, and you’re _sheltering her!_ _Protecting_ her! A _human!_!” She spat.

Seven what? My head spun with answers I didn’t have.

“you’re not gonna touch her. i will not let you take her to asgore!” Sans roared.

I could feel magic rake across Sans’ skin and felt it with his hand in mine. It was like an adrenaline rush but so much more so. It was almost euphoric.

There was now a crowd around us, all watching anxiously. Part of me wondered if it came down to it, whose side would they choose. The odds weren’t in my favor at that thought.

“You _know_ what they did.” She gritted. “You know what I _have_ to do, _and I’ll go through you to do it.”_

And with that, a bright teal spear appeared in her hands, and she crouched ready to attack. My heart raced as I realized what her words meant.

She was going to attack Sans: ‘go _through_ him.’

I couldn’t let her. I wouldn’t let her. How dare she? Why would she hurt him when she only wanted me?

I took a small step forward, in front of Sans and let his hand go. My soul called to me, humming and begging to be used. It had power and I felt it in each of my cells. This… power, pure and bright, purred in my thoughts, begging me to protect, begging me to fight.

Undyne’s eyes flashed to mine. A low fierce growl left her throat as she poised to strike. I heard Sans call to me, but I didn’t pay attention. This fight was between me and her.

Blue flames flowed from my fingertips, like a river, and it formed a shield—a dome of sorts—in front of Sans and me. When Undyne launched her spear towards us, I wasn’t afraid. I had trust and faith in the magic that surrounded us.

Undyne’s spear dissipated into nothing when it touched my sapphire flames. A smirk grew on my lips, my eyes locked onto Undyne who was glaring.

She roared in frustration and advanced. I went toward her too, with reckless abandon. My flames pulled back to a smaller shield, responding my thoughts and feeling, and in my other hand… well, to be honest, it looked like a lightsaber. It glowed a brilliant blue and hummed with power in my hand. My soul knew exactly how to fight with what I had created.

Undyne drew forth another spear and threw it at me, but again, it dissolved as soon as it touched the cerulean light of my shield. She roared in frustration, and I growled back.

 _No one_ would hurt Sans, especially not because of me.

She was soon close enough that I could actually use my sword-saber thing. I let my shield fade, and gripped the weapon with two hands, going to combat her blows with her spear that she wielded like a staff.

We danced and parried across the snow, switching from offense to defense, neither slowing, both snarling and glaring at another. My soul sang to the tune that my fury gave it. It was something beautiful.

Until…

I spun, and made a quick move with my weapon, and hers was flung across the snow. I panted and pointed the saber’s sharp and glowing tip to her chest.

Hatred burned in her eyes.

Something inside called to me and reminded me of who I was.

I wasn’t aggressive, nor a murder. I fought for love, not for glory and not in hatred.

I closed my eyes, and my soul responded to calming state, my beautiful weapon fading from my hands. I held my hands up, palms out, in peace, and took a step back.

“ _Please_ ,” I whispered. “I don’t… _I_ …” There were no words.

“Why don’t you kill me? Finish it off, like the filthy murderer you are!” Undyne spat.

“ _I don’t want_ to hurt you.” I said softly, tears stinging my eyes. “ _Please_ ,” I begged. “Just _leave him alone.”_

“Who? _Sans_?” She was suddenly confused.

“Hurt me, take me. Just… _don’t hurt him_.” Tears were falling softly down my face.

God, I didn’t know where Sans was, and I didn’t want to look, my eyes didn’t want to leave the fish woman in front of me. I was terrified that if I took my eyes off of her, she would do something that…

“Please, I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to fight.” I repeated.

Undyne relaxed from her on guard position, and looked at me, as if I baffled her.

I felt fingers intertwined with mine, and I let out a breath of relief, though, I was afraid to face him. Surely, he’d be horrified at what I had done, at what I could do—I was, I never wanted to know that I could fight like that.

“she’s made her point, undyne.” He said, his voice hard and cold. “if you want an explanation, we can give you one, but if not, _leave_.” He hissed.

Undyne studied us both, and our entwined hands and after scrutiny she gave a nod—a sign of amity.

I sagged in relief and closed my eyes, leaning against Sans. His skin was burning against mine.

Then the cold refreshing snow was much closer, giving my burning skin the relief it yearned for.

Sans called my name, worried, kneeling beside me in the snow.

“What’s going on?” I heard Undyne’s voice muddled in my head.

“i don’t know,” Sans gritted out as he pulled me into his lap, then stood me in his arms. “________, you’re okay,” He consoled. “don’t give up on me,”

I nodded and laid my head on his shoulder, exhaustion sweeping over me, but the scorch from my skin fading.

“no, come on, stay awake,” Sans coaxed, worry coloring his voice. “stay awake for me sweetheart,”

“So tired,” I mumbled, nestling my head into his neck, embracing his warmth, closing my eyes.

“i know. just let me get you somewhere warm,” He pleaded softly. “then you can sleep,”

“M’kay.”

“you’re something else, ya know that?” He teased, and I smiled, slurring out a quip.

Suddenly around us, the air was warmer, and it smelled like home. Sans stopped moving and suddenly I was in his lap. I assumed we were home. Sans set me on the couch, and I stretched out, my aching muscles singing.

“What’s wrong with her?” Undyne’s voice came from somewhere around me.

“i think her body is trying to keep up with the magic she just did. i don’t think she’s done anything like that before and… that was a lot for her.” Sans explained, muted.

Something was draped over me, something familiar that smelled like home. My fingers curled around it and pulled it close and fatigue overtook me finally.

_________________________________________________

Sans smoothed your hair, getting it out of your face and he relaxed finally.

You were safe, and alive, and here. A small smile graced your lips as you slept and you looked so peaceful, the fear and sorrow gone from your face in your slumber.

“Sans,” Undyne hissed softly. “Who the hell is she?”

Sans left you on the couch and pulled Undyne to the kitchen.

“she… came through yesterday. from toriel. undyne you can’t take her. i won’t let you.” Sans narrowed his eyes, judging Undyne.

“I don’t think she’ll let me,” Undyne muttered. “You said she’s never used magic like that before?”

Sans shook his head.

“i don’t think she knew that she had a soul until she fell down here.” Sans gave.

“They still exist though, mages.” Undyne’s tone was venomous.

“seems so,” Sans sighed. “i don’t know if they instruct like they used to… she’s so strong you’d think that she would have _some_ training if that were the case…”

“She’s the _last_ one we need Sans,” Undyne muttered. “We’re so _close_.”

“not her undyne. i… there… she’s different from the rest. what are the changes a _mage_ falls down here?” Sans hissed. “i don’t know a lot… but she’s lost so much but she’s still _good_ undyne. she’s had every reason to turn her back on the world… and…”

“She wouldn’t kill someone who wanted to kill her.” Undyne supplied, a slight grin on her face. “The kid’s got spunk. I’ll give her that.”

“she really is something else…” Sans smiled and looked back to you, fast asleep on the couch.

“And this has nothing to do with that fact that you like her?” Undyne drawled.

Sans gave Undyne a sharp look but said nothing. He couldn’t deny it.

There was just something about you that he couldn’t shake. He knew everyone in the underground, but no one’s soul called to him like yours did.

Oh, he knew your soul, before you even left the Ruins, he knew that something had to have been out there for him. The day that you first fell, he woke up that morning, following a siren call to you.

Then he found you, crying and afraid in the woods, and yet you were still so kind, and gentle… He saw the fear that hid underneath… the loneliness and abandonment that you couldn’t escape, but desperately wanted to.

And you decided that he was the one that you wanted. That you would stay with him, though he was broken and scared himself. He’s the one you cried out to in the middle of the night and clung to him. You’re the one who protected him by taking on _Undyne_. The one you had every reason to fear from what you knew of her and yet you stood up, for him.

“If we’re going to protect her, everyone needs to be on the same page…” Undyne muttered. “After today…”

Sans nodded and watched you dream happily.

______________________________________________________

My dreams flickered and didn’t make much sense. My parents smiled at me, beaming with pride. Sans was there, smiling and holding my hand. We watched the stars and the sunsets. I was warm and safe… but something sinister lurked underneath.

Images of a long hallway… beds of small yellow flowers… sickly green walls in a laboratory… a man who lurked in the shadows, waiting.

I blinked my eyes open, stretching and almost falling off the couch in my effort.

I had no idea what time it was, and I was extremely stiff and sore. Sitting up with spots dancing in my vision I pulled the blanket—skewed in my stretching—back around my shoulders, standing.

“Sans?” I rasped; my mouth extremely dry.

“hey sleepyhead,” his voice carried from the kitchen. “how do you feel?”

“Okay? I think?” My eyebrows furrowed. “What exactly just happened?”

“you’re okay,” his smile was reassuring as he sat next to me on the couch, handing me a glass of water that I downed quickly. “i’m gonna guess you’ve never done anything like that before?” He raised a browbone, amused.

I shook my head, sitting cross-legged, waiting for an explanation.

“human souls are extremely powerful, yet they normally don’t wield magic like yours, not for a long time. seven human mages put up the barrier. seven human souls will take it down… if a monster and human souls’ powers are combined, they were unstoppable.” He explained slowly.

“Wait? _Magic_? _My_ soul?” I sputtered out.

I heard Undyne laugh as she came down the stairs and leaning on the wall across from the couch, joining our conversation.

“Yeah, nerd. I’ve never seen another human do what you just did to that magnitude. It was impressive.” She said grinning. “How did you do it?” She asked.

“I don’t know. I knew I wouldn’t let you hurt him, and my soul…” I murmured and glanced over to Sans, who was smiling softly.

“Well, it was wicked cool,” Undyne said.

“Thanks, I think,” I said smiling. It wasn’t exactly friendship, but at least we weren’t trying to kill each other.

“So that’s what you meant,” I whispered. “Needing seven souls…” I looked to Sans who confirmed my epiphany with a nod.

“asgore needs seven human souls to take down the barrier,” Sans kept his eyes trained on Undyne, as if he were threatening her. “he has six.”

I thought back to what Sans had said—was it yesterday? —about others that came before me. I wasn’t the first. Kids, that were… gone. I shuddered at the thought. I hadn’t realized the gravity of the situation.

“He wants to kill me for my soul,” I said blatantly. Undyne nodded and Sans tensed up beside me.

“he’s not gonna get to you,” Sans vowed, taking my hand into his.

I gave him a reassuring smile and relaxed a bit. Not that I was worried completely to begin with, but it’s nice to know that I don’t have to worry.

Something unspoken passed between Sans and Undyne that I couldn’t quite get a read on before it passed.

“i’m gonna go and find papyrus and bring him home,” Sans murmured to me, standing hesitantly.

“Oh, okay.” I gave a small smile and watched him leave, wondering what that was about.

Undyne grinned at me as soon as he was gone.

“So, you and Sans?” She asked pointedly, raising her eyebrow.

“Yeah?” I offered with a small shrug.

“I’ve never seen Sans act like this before,” Undyne told me. “He normally keeps to himself, if he ever leaves the house. I think this is the most that I’ve spoken to him in a month… Papyrus worries about him a lot.”

I nodded; my suspicions were confirmed… he was right there beside me in hiding from others… about being alone. Papyrus may seem young, but I didn’t doubt for a second that he didn’t pick up on his brother’s habits.

“It feels… safe,” I murmured, despondent. “Like I’m not alone anymore…”

“Don’t you have people topside worried about you?” Undyne seemed shocked.

I shook my head in regret.

“I… I got a call that day… my parents were in an accident… they…”

“Didn’t make it?” Undyne gave and I confirmed with a nod. “Sorry kid,”

I small smile played at my lips.

“You’re the first one who’s said that to me.” I smiled at her. “Thanks.”

She looked down sheepishly and muttered something that I couldn’t quite catch—but sounded an awful lot like “I can see what he means,”—before changing the subject.

“And Paps should be home soon. He’ll be hungry.” She muttered heading to the kitchen.

I migrated there with her and leaned against the door jamb wondering how long she been friends with Papyrus, to be no longer a guest, but a part of the household when she was over. She began piling ingredients on the counter, to what looked like… sushi? Did that count as cannibalism?

My thoughts were stopped when I heard Papyrus enter the house.

“HELLO HUMAN! I HOPE YOU’RE FEELING BETTER!” He pulled me into a hug, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Thanks, Papyrus,” I grinned, being set back on the ground.

“hey,” His voice was wary and soft.

I turned to him; my brows raised in question. He just shook his head and placed a semi fake smile on. I was going to press him but dropped the matter when his hand found mine.

“still wanna see the town?” He asked in a low voice, bringing up the task that had started the events of today.

It seemed like forever ago…

“Yeah, we can go out,” I said leaning against the counter, watching Undyne work as she chatted with Papyrus.

“you sure?” He asked, hesitantly, studying me. “we don’t have to.”

“No, no. We can. I wanted to see if there was a shop in town anyway. If I’m staying—a nod from his said “yes, you are”—then I’m gonna need clothes and stuff…” I began making a mental list of possible purchases, worrying about the cost.

“yeah, there’s a shop in town. we can go.” He nodded, slightly lost in thought.

We walked back out into the snow, except this time it didn’t bother me as much, as Sans’ fingers were again intertwined with mine, grounding me to reality and keeping my nerves under wraps. He didn’t say anything about it, and neither did I.

It just was. It was us. Whatever that was.

The shop wasn’t far passed Grillby’s. The bell above the door signaled our entry. The shop was run by a rabbit monster, who reminded me of one of Peter Rabbit’s sisters. She said that everything was half-off, and to look at anything we wanted.

I perused and immediately headed towards the promises of what looked like clothes. Each piece was long-sleeved, or fur-lined. I began rifling through the clothes and grabbed a couple of sweaters, another pair of jeans, and a knitted beanie.

Sans was beside me all the while, being quiet, observing me.

It made me a little self-conscious. I was used to shopping alone.

We milled around the store, which seemed to have a little bit of everything. I couldn’t think of anything else that I one hundred percent needed at the moment, so I walked over to the register, as the kind rabbit lady—whose name tag read Cassandra—started ringing up the clothes, I dug through my bag for the gold pieces that I had been collecting, but before I could find them, Sans was there, paying for me.

“I could have done that,” I mumbled.

“i know.” Was all he said, with a lazy grin on his face.

But it also calmed my fear of having to budget money— something that gave me anxiety before I fell.

“Thank you,” Was all I got out.

Taking the bag that had my new clothes in it, I thanked Cassandra, and we walked out of the store.

“i’m sorry.” He said after a few steps. “i shouldn’t have.”

“It’s… okay.” I decided.

“it’s not.” He pointed out. “i should have at least asked.”

“It’s just different. I’m used to being on my own. Doing everything myself.” I worked throughout loud.

“i’m not saying you’re not capable.” He insisted. “you seemed worried about it… i didn’t want you to have to when i could help.”

Well, that sure thawed me out.

“i won’t do it anymore, i’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” I smiled softly. “I’m not used to not being on my own. So, thanks.” 

He nodded.

We walked home in thoughtful silence. The town was winding down for the night, fairy lights glowing starkly against the night sky. It was almost as if I wasn’t trapped in a mountain. It was beautiful.

But, the lack of stars and moon to light my way reminded me cruelly.

I unpacked when we got home—Papyrus and Undyne were still in the kitchen doing who knows what, but Sans didn’t seem concerned so neither was I. We made our presence known and headed upstairs.

In his room, I hung what I could in his closet and folded the rest.

My toothbrush, along with my brush, went to the bathroom, as did the small first-aid kit.

All that was left, was the two phones. Mine and Toriel’s.

I sighed at them and pocketed mine setting Toriel’s on the dresser, staring at it wistfully.

“you miss her,” Sans said softly

“Is it that obvious?” I mumbled.

_________________________________

No, Sans wanted to say. You were very good at guarding your emotions and never wore your heart on your sleeve.

Sometimes he wished you would, just so that he could know what you were thinking. But then you’d give him a smile, genuine or false, and it all just kind of faded. You were okay, or you would be one day, he knew that much.

You were strong. Determined.

But he also could do something that he’s never done before: he could see your soul, constantly. He knew every monster in the Underground, and it took some effort to home in on their soul. And even the humans that he had met took more effort than other monsters.

But he could see yours, a shifting blue, all the time. It reminded him of the ocean. What he remembered of it. The gentleness of the waves that would lap at the shores, and the driving hurricanes that it could become.

It was like his.

Something else that he had never encountered before. No one else used blue magic as he did.

And he had no idea who to ask about it. His mother would know… you reminded him of her so much that it hurt sometimes. A good sort of hurt for feelings and memories that he had shut out, that he was realizing that he needed to work through.

But that was beside the point.

Because he could see your soul, he knew how you were feeling. If it glowed brightly or was muted and dulled… When you were anxious it pulsed softly with your breathing, the flutter of a soul beat that signaled your panic.

“your soul gives it away, most the time anyway.” He said, not thinking too much of it.

Until you turned to look at him, eyebrows raised.

“It does?” Your soul flared with curiosity—waves rolling off a cliff face.

He looked up, trying to find the best way to approach the situation. His father’s words echoed in his mind, scolding him. He quickly shoved those thoughts aside and looked back at you, then began.

“monsters are taught when they’re little, that they have a soul, and that’s their source of magic. they are then taught how to use and wield their magic. some enjoy it, and embrace their magic, others, just let it fade, it’s still there, just not as honed as it could be. souls are what make up a monster’s being, it’s who they are.”

You were quiet a moment, thinking and processing he assumed. Then you spoke:

“Is that why you can read my emotions so well?” You were so observant.

He smiled at that and added it to the list of things that he liked about you.

“not quite. see, human souls are… different. they aren’t used as much, unless in combat with a monster. they aren’t the best at using magic and are often overlooked.” He paused, gauging your reaction.

You seemed calm and cool, waiting for more. Daring him to say something more.

“your soul is not like anything i’ve ever seen in anyone else before.” He admitted.

“Is something wrong with me?” There was your anxiety again.

If he only had the power and words to explain how you were completely perfect in his eyes. Even if he did, you probably wouldn’t listen. He knew you were stubborn too. For better or worse it seemed.

He laughed. “no, no, not at all.”

A smile reached your face again and he relaxed a little knowing that he put it there.

“there’s… not a lot on human souls that we know. the king won’t tell us,” He hissed in vain. “but it was used to say that souls used to be made of stardust… some are made of the same stardust. they say that the king and queen’s hearts were made of the same kind…”

He thought so were yours and his… he just didn’t want to tell you…

He didn’t know for sure… and he didn’t want to scare you either. You were on such shaky ground that he feared that it would harm more than it would help.

Again, if he could just _ask_ someone.

“Undyne said she had never before seen any human do what I did… earlier.” I said, looking down.

“i don’t think anyone has. not from a human at least. not in a long time.” His mind flashed back to the war and the day that sealed their fates, and them in.

“The war,” You muttered, remembering something shown with a furrow of your brow.

He was surprised you knew about the war at all. Sure, they might teach it in schools, but he’d have thought that they’d leave out the anti-human bits.

_____________________________________

_“The Mages sealed the monsters underground, for eternity…”_

“I’m _so_ sorry,” I whispered, thinking about what people of my kind had done. “I… I don’t want to hurt anyone… not like that… _ever_.” My voice broke softly.

Did people, monsters, fear me because I reminded them of the mages that sealed them under here all those centuries ago?

“no, _don’t_.” sans shook his head and was beside me, “that’s _not_ on you. at _all_. they made their choice back then and you make yours. and you’re _good_ ___________. you’re _so good_. to your core.” His voice was almost as broken as mine as he tried to convince me.

“How do you know?” I asked hopelessly.

“because i… i _see_ your soul ________. all the time. i _know_ how you respond, how you feel, your reactions. you’ve had _every_ reason to turn your back on the world and you _haven’t_.” Sans’ outburst shocked me slightly.

“All the time?” I repeated.

He gave a small nod.

“Is that normal?”

His silence and lack of response gave me my answer.

So, it wasn’t normal…

“Is there something wrong with me?” I murmured.

“not even close. the way your soul responded to you, the way you fought earlier, it was… amazing. i have never seen anyone fight so… elegantly.”

I smiled at him.

He called me elegant…

It seemed to end out soul discussion for now. My internal clock was begging for sleep, despite the hours that I had gotten earlier today. I was just worn out.

Of course, Sans seemed to know this too and let me shower in peace while going down to check on his brother and Undyne, who was having a sleepover here tonight with Papyrus.

The warm water again unknotted my sore and tense muscles as my thoughts wandered sluggishly.

Sans could see my soul, and he knew how I was feeling all the time.

I had hidden my emotions for so long, from everyone, and here he was, and he knew them all. Even in knowing, he didn’t push me away, nor did he tell me I was wrong. It was something I never had before. He was someone I never had before…

Part of what he said made me think that I was a mage—or at least a descendant—like from the stories my parents had told me when I was little. And though the thought worried me, Sans said I was different, _good_ , elegant, something he had never seen before.

I weighed all of these things and decided that they were alright. Maybe I was a mage, but that didn’t mean that I couldn’t still be good. That didn’t mean that I still wasn’t me. A label wasn’t going to change that.

Curled up into bed, I waited for Sans to come back up.

When he did, he hesitated by the door, seeming unsure of whether to stay or leave.

I didn’t want him to leave, not in the slightest. It was so much easier when he was around. I didn’t feel as anxious or alone when I was with him.

“Do you wanna…?” I meekly asked, trailing off.

“do you want me to?” Was his counter.

“Please,” Was all I could manage.

He laid beside me, stiff and uncertain until I slowly curled up beside him as I had the night before and he seemed to unwind some. With the steady movement of his chest sleep overtook me, peacefully.

In my drowsy state, I caught a glimpse of something brilliant, beautiful, and blue, flashed into my vision, and my thoughts. His feelings echoing in my mind, as if they were part of my subconscious, but all in his gentle voice. I barely caught any of it, but it was a sense of longing, worry, pride, anxiety, and… love, all at once.

_“Only the power of love, they say, could overcome such a barrier.”_

My grandfather’s voice echoed in my head and in my dreams as I was pulled under to the nothingness of sleep.


	4. You're Facin' Down A Dark Hall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey loves!
> 
> Who's ready for a complete reworking of my entire plot! Because I'm not and yet here I am! This chapter is an amalgamation of a lot of the other chapters from OMB but hopefully, it makes more sense this way. Let me know what you think! Please, your comments spur me on like you wouldn't believe. 
> 
> So enjoy some angst, some strong fluff, a first kiss or two and more Undyne! 
> 
> (P.s. "Do it for Her" from Steven Universe is also used in this chapter... I'm sure you can figure out when)
> 
> Love you guys forever,  
> Momma Marri

The night passed without a dream. Or nightmares. Which was more jarring than having either. At least then I knew what to worry about. Sans mumbled every now and again through the night, but he calmed when I moved back into his arms.

At some point, our blanket had made its way to the floor, trapped on the other side of Sans, so I spent most of the night pressed against him to keep warm.

Sans seemed just as surprised as I was in the morning.

Breakfast came and went—though with Undyne cooking it was quite fun to watch. All of her enthusiasm for something so small as cooking was… well suiting for her.

“wanna do anything today?” Sans murmured as we curled up on the couch with our respective cups of coffee.

I shrugged.

“Not particularly.”

Undyne poked her head out from the kitchen.

“She’s mine today punk!”

“What?” Sans an I asked in unison.

“She needs to be trained. We can’t have an untrained mage running around. If I can’t kill her, I’m going to train her.”

“trained?”

“Mage? Like the stories…” I trailed off. “Undyne I _can’t_ fight,”

“I know, that’s why I’m here,” She grinned at me. “ _Bestie_.” She annunciated each syllable.

“Okay, I don’t _want_ to fight.” I clarified.

She raised an eyebrow at me, tilting her chin back.

“I know, no one does.” Her voice was soft—something I had never heard before. “But we have to know how to fight for the ones that we love.” She nodded her head to Sans. “You want him to live, don’t you?”

I gaped at her with narrowed eyes, thinking.

“undyne i can hold my own,” Sans argued. “i’m stronger than you.”

“You want her defenseless? Sure, she beat me once, but then she was in a coma for half a day.” Undyne pointed out. “She needs to learn. If Asgore comes looking for her… or something else…”

Not too sure how I felt about that “something else” addition, I looked over to Sans, and he seemed to be at the same place that I was: I didn’t like it, but she had a point. I had to learn. I had to know how to fight.

“Alright,” I gave in. “Let’s do this.

Out in a field covered in snow, Undyne came inches from shish-kabobbing me again.

“Come on ________!” Her spear faded from existence as she helped me up. “You’ve got to fight back against me!”

I rubbed my face and took a deep agitated breath.

“I’m trying!”

“Are you!?”

I growled at her, glaring.

“No, I’ve just been out here two hours getting my ass kicked because I want to!” I shouted back.

“Mad, are we? What are you gonna do about it? Coward.” A grin curled on her face; another spear dropped into her hand from thin air. “You can’t even do it.”

I squared my jaw and gritted my teeth.

“You can’t protect anyone! Not yourself! Not Papyrus! Not Sans!”

“undyne _let up!”_ Sans almost snarled.

I didn’t hear them, something snapped in me. I wouldn’t fail. Not again. There were so many people that I could have protected if I had just learned. I can learn.

I can do this.

Because I had to.

Because I needed him.

Because I loved him.

I’d do it for him.

Blue flames licked across my skin as I opened my eyes again and looked at Undyne.

“Bring it,” I muttered.

She laughed victoriously and came at me, and like before, I went at her, this time with new vigor in my veins and a magic sword in my hands.

“Keep your stance wide!” She coached as we sparred.

I shifted my feet, one foot to another, constantly moving. The sound of magic clashing against anther rang through the wood.

“Faster!”

“Keep your eyes on me!”

“Don’t you want him to live!?” Undyne hurled at me when we were face to face, my blade clashed against her spear.

I let out a grunted roar and pushed her off with a wave of magic that came from the depths of my soul. She was knocked onto the snow this time, beaming in pride as my blade point was at her chest. I panted and let my sword fade, helping her up.

“I think you’ve got it,” She grinned. “You fight with everything when you fight with magic. Body and soul.”

I nodded, understanding. If I wanted to fight with magic, if I wanted to be a mage, if I wanted to protect the ones I loved, if I wanted to protect him, I’d have to give everything I had… everything I was…

“i think she’s had enough for the day undyne.” Sans came up beside me, his hand on the small of my back.

“We’re not done with this,” She warned. “You’re going to have to keep training. You’ve got a lotta power punk, you need to know how to use it.”

I bobbed my head as my heart rate started to even out.

“ready to head home?”

“Yeah…” I smiled at him, noticing something amiss in his eyes—I’d have to ask him about it later. “You coming Undyne?”

“Nah, Alphys is coming over tonight for anime.” Her cheeks flushed slightly.

“Alphys?” I mused, raising an eyebrow.

“She’s just a friend.” Undyne stuttered nervously—a new thing for Undyne.

“Mhmm. _Friend_.” I drawled.

“Don’t make me kick your ass again loser.” Undyne threatened half-heartedly.

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

“Later loser,” I grinned at her and took Sans’ hand as we walked back home.

_______________________________

When he saw you fighting Undyne and coming so close to getting hurt he wanted to jump in and save you. Every time.

He didn’t understand why you couldn’t get it as you had before. It was almost too easy for you when you fought for him the first time, and now you struggled to battle Undyne.

Then Undyne began to taunt you and he watched your soul flare in anger and hurt: an oncoming storm. Ain impending monsoon.

“undyne let up,” He warned.

But, just as your soul had snapped into its volatile state, it had shifted back to being under control, yet still raging, dangerous. You seemed to have understood what Undyne was trying to teach as you went at her, sword in hand.

He wasn’t lying when he had told you that you fought elegantly. It was almost jarring. He hadn’t seen anyone fight like you did in a long time… not since his mother fought in the war… not since his mother fought against his father.

He tried his best not to let those memories take hold of him, but it was no use, they ran rampant in his mind. He didn’t want to lose you, not like he lost his mother, and heaven forbid he ever follow the path of his father.

Somehow you knew that to do though as your hand slipped reassuringly into his and the two of you walked home.

“Something’s bothering you,” Your voice was soft and gentle again as you spoke to him.

How you saw through him, he’d never understand. But you were right… he didn’t know what to do with them.

“Do… you don’t like me fighting?” You guessed when he remained quiet.

There were so many facets to that question that he didn’t know where to start.

“no… it’s fine.” He tried to convince the both of you.

You didn’t buy it.

“Do I scare you?” Your voice was small.

He chuckled softly.

“yes and no,”

“Gee that clears everything up.” The humor in your voice masked the worry that hid underneath.

“i could totally take you.” He grinned.

“Uhuh, okay Mr. tough guy.” You rolled my eyes, smiling at him.

He smiled halfheartedly at that and tried to find the right words to explain.

“my mother… you fight a lot like she did…” He offered, a small smile on his face.

“Sorry?” You were so gentle and apologetic, it made him chuckle.

“no… i guess it’s good to remember sometimes. never realized how much i miss her.”

He let you inside and you shed your jacket as he closed the door behind himself.

You took your place on the couch—he mentally smiled at the fact that you now had a “spot” on the couch.

“I don’t scare you though? Mages… and the barrier… the war,” You trailed off.

“not all of the mages were bad.” Sans sat beside you, taking a deep breath. “i just don’t want to lose you… not like i lost her… not _how_ i lost her…” He squeezed his eyes shut rubbing his face.

“You’re not gonna lose me,”

Your arms curled around him and your head was on his shoulder. He could feel your warmth and the comfort that radiated off of you. Something that he had missed.

______________________________________

“I… I know that I can’t be what she was to you…” I whispered softly. “But… I’m here… whatever you need, just because she’s gone doesn’t mean you’re defenseless…”

Sans stayed quiet—but his arms wrapped themselves around me—and I didn’t really expect him to say anything. I wouldn’t have known what to say either.

“HUMAN!! SANS!! I HAVE MADE DINNER!!” Papyrus called from the kitchen.

I jumped and then laughed at myself. Sans joined in too, something unsaid in his eyes that I couldn’t quite place.

Dinner was spaghetti that was honestly very good.

“OF COURSE, IT IS HUMAN!! I THE GREAT PAPYRUS AM A MASTER CHEF!” Papyrus had insisted with a skeptical look from Sans.

I giggled and began to wash up after dinner, leaving the dishes to dry on the counter. I could feel the day wearing on me, not like I was the first time, but I was drained.

“bed?” Sans mused.

I nodded and bid Papyrus a goodnight before heading for a shower.

Combing through my wet hair with my finger, lounging in bed, Sans came in.

“you doing okay?” He asked, sitting next to me. “not gonna go into a coma?” He teased.

I nudged his side playfully.

“No,” I muttered. “Just… genuinely tired I think.”

“do you want me to stay tonight?” The question was soft and hesitant.

“Please,”

The smile that stretched across his face made almost everything that I had been through worth it…

When we were settled into bed, and I was curled up beside him I let entertained my psyche and asked what had been going through my head all day.

“Is everyone afraid of me?” I asked knowing that Sans would give me a straight answer.

“after your showing of magic earlier, a lot of monsters fear the mages that trapped us under here, not that any of them are old enough to remember, but stories pass down, legends, myths…”

“Like you remember?” I scoffed softly.

He didn’t comment. My eyes got wide as I looked up at him, realization dawning on me.

“Sans…?” I squeaked, staring at him.

Laughter shook him and I gave him a look.

“sorry, sorry, just the look on your face.” There was a cheesy smile on his face—my jokester.

He took a breath and explained.

“monsters we grow and age differently than humans do. technically we’re immortal—”

“—What!?” I demanded.

“are you gonna let me finish?” He asked with a smirk.

I huffed and sat up, waiting for his explanation.

“monsters are made of mostly magic, not blood and bone like you are, well, all humans really. anyway, we age, until what humans would call young adults, the exact age varies from monster to monster, then we just stop, aging.” He explained.

I tried to wrap my head around it. Something sounded familiar about it, but I couldn’t place it.

“So, you just live forever?” I asked. “Is the only way to die to be killed?” It was kinda morbid.

“no, no,” He interjected. “we can grow old if we choose to. monsters believe in soul mates, and normally a monster will look for their mate, and grow old with them.” He explained.

“That’s sweet,” I commented, smiling.

“yeah,” He said with melancholy.

I glanced up at him.

“You haven’t found them yet.”

He didn’t comment, which I guess gave me my answer, but part of me wondered if I was… I shook my head. I wasn’t going to finish the thought. Someone like me, couldn’t possibly deserve someone like him, forever.

Could I?

“Were you there when the barrier was put up?” I asked—the other burning question in my head.

I could feel him tense beside me, and I over to him.

“you sure you wanna talk about this? it’s late and you’re tired…” He trailed off.

“Please?” I asked, kinda hopeless that he’d elaborate.

I was shocked when he sat up and turned on the lamp in the dresser beside us. I sat up beside him, sitting Indian style.

“yes, i was there. in the front lines.” He said, looking at his lap.

I frowned at the new information and studied him and waited for more. He glanced up at me, and continued:

“the great war was fought because humans feared monster magic. some humans could wield magic as monsters could, but not all, and well, it made them afraid. not every human was good. not every monster was good.

they pushed us back, to the mountain, and sealed us in, any monster not behind the barrier was slaughtered. so many died that day.” He paused. “when a monster dies, their soul lingers for a small amount of time, while their body turns to dust.” He gave a sad smile. “dust to dust.” He muttered.

I reached out and took his hands, letting my thumb rub against his first metacarpal. He seemed to be in another time and place.

“i was young, and with my father. we were the king’s most loyal, the strongest, and his right-hand men. my father… he was the one who planted the idea of the war in the king’s head, twisting what the humans did, innocent harmless things, to seem like acts of treachery. i told the king of what my father was doing, but it was too late… _i was too late…”_ He whispered.

“Sans,” I called to him softly. “I’m _so_ sorry.”

He flashed a quick hopeless smile, then sighed.

“maybe if i had caught it sooner, we wouldn’t be trapped down here.”

“Hey,” I said softly, reaching up to stroke his cheek. “This isn’t your fault. The barrier, being trapped, _it’s not your fault_.”

I could tell my words didn’t mean much to him. Like a mantra of his own that had lost its power. I couldn’t imagine carrying a weight like that.

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close. I could feel his arms curl around me, as he gripped at my shirt. I held him close, trying to understand.

His mother, the one he held in such high esteem and his father, twisted and manipulative… on the same side of the war… fighting for different reasons.

I thought of my parents, truly for the first time since I had fallen. I couldn’t imagine them fighting against one another. My father was always so gentle, a pacifist. My mother was headstrong but rooted deep in good morals. They were good to their cores—to their souls.

“How old _are_ you?” I mused. “You were there when the barrier was put up…”

He chuckled and ran his fingers through my hair, pulling me to lay down with him again. It seemed that the storm had passed for tonight.

“for all intents and purposes, twenty.” He said and I could hear the humor in his voice.

I rolled my eyes at the darkness around us, for Sans had turned the lamp back off.

“Come on, I wanna know,” I said, starting to sit up. He tightened his grip on my shoulders not letting me. I glared and pouted.

“sure it’s not gonna creep you out?” he asked, hesitant.

I nodded. He seemed to debate telling me for a moment.

“six-hundred and thirty-two, well three now, i guess.”

I blinked. A silent moment passed, when I didn’t say anything, mulling over what he had just told me trying to figure out how I felt about it.

“thoughts?” He pleaded.

“You’ve been waiting a long time for me,” I concluded.

I felt him laugh.

“you’re right, you’re getting off too easy. i should make you wait longer.” He joked.

I giggled and shook my head.

“Not fair,” I argued.

“and why’s that?” He countered.

“I’m not immortal.”

“neither am i.” He said, raising his brow bones at me.

I gave him a look. He laughed again.

“fine, fine. i’ll let you off the hook.” He smiled.

I smiled back and settled back down in his arms.

“doesn’t creep you out though?” He asked, rubbing my shoulder soothingly.

“Not really. I mean, twenty is a year older than I am now, and well, everything after that…” I shrugged. “You might have gone through the years, but you didn’t grow old.” I decided.

“hmm.” was all he said. I looked up to him for more, but he was fast asleep.

I smiled and closed my eyes, letting myself get pulled under, drawn by the rhythm of Sans’ steady breaths.

My mind tried to picture it, Sans, standing beside Asgore, fighting against the humans. Sans was a force to be reckoned with all on his own but beside Asgore? From what I heard of the king, they seemed unstoppable. It made me shudder to think of how strong the humans were that fought against them.

There was also the unsettling thought that I might be a descendant of one of them.

This time, I did dream.

The words of the conversation I had with Sans sank into my mind, A haunting image swirled in my mind, drawing me in, pulling me forward. It whispered prophecy of what was to come. No, it wasn’t a dream of faded memories or chilling fears… but of demons and what was to come.

I stared down a long hallway, the only light coming in through large stand glass windows washing the room a sickly yellow color. It might have been more appealing if it weren’t for what I saw before me.

I could almost feel the cold marble beneath my feet. I chill ran up my spine.

Sans was in front of me, as always, his arms raised in a way I knew well—protective.

Something was coming, and he had every intention of stopping it. I ran towards him, drawing near, to feel safer, and give him the benefit of the doubt.

His hands were glowing blue now, but fiercely, in anger, crackling with the power of his magic. If my magic resembled fire, his had the force of lightning.

I let my soul respond to his magic and allowed the sapphire light to gently encase my hands, a sword at the ready.

I could see the exact look on his face as a snarl ripped through him, even though he was faced away from me—something my dream had provided. Towards… _Toriel_?

No.

It wasn’t Toriel, but something similar.

This was a man, who was much taller, and broader. This monster carried a crimson trident and wore a purple cloak, a color that matched Toriel’s robes. He had a golden beard, that matched his hair, and two magnificent horns, of which in the center rested a crown.

A king.

 _Asgore_.

My blood ran cold. This was the man that wanted me dead to free his subjects. A man that Sans wouldn’t let touch me. A man that killed six others without a second thought.

“Sans, please don’t make this any harder than it has to be,” The king asked, in a deep voice. “just give me the girl.”

Sans growled a response.

“Very well.”

The king raised his blood-red staff, and I felt my soul get pulled into the fight. The king quickly swiped his staff, to and fro, of which I dodged, with slight difficulty.

I didn’t have to worry for very long, because I felt my soul being released, as Sans placed his own into the fight.

My heart ached for the skeleton before me. I hovered close, waiting, heart racing and adrenaline coursing through my veins.

But, God, watching Sans fight.

He moved with such precision and accuracy that it was amazing.

He used the least amount of effort, and I smiled in spite of myself because it was so him to do that. It was remarkable. Not a single vicious attack of the king’s touched him.

Then Sans moved to offense.

I almost laughed at how incredible and indescribable it was.

Of course, his attack involved bones, that trapped, and hurt the king, the few hits Sans landed, but that wasn’t the best thing.

The best thing was the huge skull, looming behind him, staring down Asgore. It reminded me of the cow skulls you’d see in the desert in all the western movies. Except, this skull was humming with power and completely Sans’.

It seemed to hover and protect me while Sans fought. I reached out, my head coming into contact with the beast’s muzzle as it purred under my touch. It seemed to be connected with my soul. Calling to me as if it were another limb on my body.

Sans’ seemed to have the upper hand against the king, until, a small child, in a green and yellow striped sweater, came up behind Sans, with gruesome red eyes and a knife.

I sprang between the child and Sans, growling and raising my sword. Undyne’s words coached me.

Even still I wasn’t fast enough. My feet were cemented to the ground as gravity pressed down on me, knocking the air from my lungs as I fell to the ground.

I could have blamed the dream, but I knew that that wasn’t the problem. This child, this demon, had it out for Sans and I. This child was doing this to me.

Sans turned, saw the child, and froze in panic, shock, and fear.

I knew Sans saw this child as a bigger threat. He was so adamant about the demon child that didn’t see Asgore make his attack. I threw my magic—something deep from the depth of my soul and completely feral—at Asgore, to protect Sans, and closed my eyes, not wanting to watch the horror that was before me.

Because I knew I was too late.

I was too slow.

Too human.

There was a high-pitched giggle. I dared to open my eyes, and before standing me, Asgore, but he didn’t hold my focus.

All Asgore could do was kill me.

I frantically looked around for Sans and saw him, on the floor, not moving behind Asgore. The demon was gone. Red soaked through his shirt and hoodie.

“Please _don’t be dead,”_ I whispered to Sans, as tears streamed down my face.

I roared in frustration, letting my soul give into my anger and threw the king out of my way easily—using that same feral energy as before—and ran to Sans’ side, kneeling beside him, rolling him onto his back.

My heart fluttered in relief when his eyes opened slightly, and he was breathing, laboriously, but breathing. I cradled his head in my lap, running my fingers over the smooth bone of his skull, crying. I could see hairline cracks littered throughout the bones of his body.

“ _go_ ,” He whispered, broken.

I shook my head in denial as tears streamed down my face. I wiped them away in a vain effort to clear my vision.

“ _Not without you. You promised_.” I wept, my voice cracking. “I _can’t lose you too!”_

He said my name softly and reached out to stroke my cheek, his hands were cold.

“Human.” The deep voice of the king called from behind me.

Fury raged through me, and I gently laid Sans back on the ground, and whipped around, snarling, my cerulean flames pouring from my hands, and swirling around both Sans and me.

I could feel Sans’ soul fading, second by second, like sand from an hourglass.

Something I had never been so attuned with until now… something that I would soon lose. It felt like being torn in two as he wilted.

“ _Leave. Him. Alone_.” I growled, glaring the king down.

“I must—” The king began.

I knew what he was going to say. I didn’t want to hear it.

“ _FINE_!” I roared. “Take _my soul! Kill me_!” My voice faltered, tears pouring down my face in anguish. “But _get him out_ ,” I begged. “ _Please, he doesn’t deserve this…”_

I stood straight, and held my head high, walking towards the king, who towered over me.

I could hear Sans protesting from behind me, and my heart broke. I was three feet in front of the king, and I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, silent tears making their way down my face.

I made my choice, and I was determined to follow through with it. The king raised his spear, pressing it against my chest where my soul resided.

All he could do was kill me.

I heard my name being called. It was _his_ voice. He was calling and pleading for me to wake up.

_Wake up?_

Oh, God, I wasn’t dead.

My eyes flickered open, and I was met with a very worried anxious skeleton. I gasped and reached out for him.

I had to know that he was there.

That he was okay. Alive.

I felt his arms wrap around me tightly and my arms wrapped around his neck, sobbing.

He was okay. _He was okay_. He was _here_. He was _alive_. _He was okay._

Sans held me tight as I cried. He seemed to know exactly how I was feeling, and the agony I was in.

I _couldn’t_ lose him. I lost _everyone_ else. _Everyone_ was taken from me. _I couldn’t lose him too_.

I started hyperventilating, squeaking out breaths.

I could feel his chest rise and fall, in a normal rhythm—a pattern that I recognized.

I struggled to match my breathing to his. It got me to calm down enough that my lungs didn’t feel like coming out of my chest.

Tears still streamed down my face as I clung to him tightly. I still wasn’t convinced that it was a dream, and we both weren’t dead.

Until there was a knock on the door, and I about screamed bloody murder, but Papyrus just came in with a glass of water, and a mug of something warm, as well as a blanket, draped over his arm.

I let out a hopeless laugh at the sight and wrapped my arms tightly back around Sans and buried my face in his shoulder and started crying again.

No words were said between the two brothers. I felt the blanket get wrapped around me, and Sans arms return as he rubbed my back.

He began whispering gentle consoles, caressing my name as he said it. It calmed me faster than I had thought it would. Of course, that was my first time in a long time being comforted like that.

I pulled away gently and took his face in my hands, stroking his cheekbones softly with the pads of my thumbs, studying him, memorizing him. Convincing myself that he was still alive.

“ _Sans_ ,” I croaked softly, holding onto his name like a prayer.

“i’m right here,” He encouraged. “you’re safe. you’re home. i’m with you.”

I almost wanted to start crying all over again at his words.

He reached over and handed me the glass of water that Papyrus had brought in, and I drank it slowly, until it was gone.

I felt better after I had it. I rubbed my face and gave an apologetic sheepish smile.

“ _Sorry_ ,” I whispered.

Sans just shook his head and pulled me close again.

“you scared me half to death.” I flinched at the word. “you were screaming and crying, and you wouldn’t wake up.” He whispered. “what _was_ that?”

“A dream.” I tried to convince both of us. “It _was just a dream_. It’s gone.”

I took deep breaths, trying not to let another round of hysterics set in. I could feel Sans fingers run through my hair. I took another deep breath.

“What time is it?” I asked, looking around for a distraction.

“’bout four in the mornin’” He said with a lazy smile.

I groaned and flopped back onto the bed. I looked up at him. He was watching me closely.

“ _Sorry_?” I offered again, but like before he just shook his head.

“are you _okay_? i’ve never seen anyone…” He didn’t finish his thought.

He had been that someone, once upon a time. That’s why Papyrus knew what to do, wordlessly.

“I’m… I’m okay.” I decided, sitting up. “I probably won’t be able to sleep for some time, but… I’m okay.”

“what do you need?” He asked, pleading.

“Just hold me,” I begged. “Please.”

He pulled me into his lap and cradled me like a small child rocking me softly. He started to hum softly, a melody that was gently and enchanting that I had never heard before. And despite my protesting against more sleep, something about this… about him pulled me back under.

______________________________________

When your eyes closed and your soul began to shift in soft shades of blue again, Sans let himself relax.

Holy shit you scared him.

He had never seen such agony and terror in a soul as darkness swirled around it, and he had been through a war. Whatever your mind had conjured, it belonged in the depths of Tartarus.

That’s not what truly haunted him, however.

His father did.

His magic had worked that way. Manipulating… taking the darkest parts of the soul and bringing them to life. It was horrid and awful. Good offence, to cripple an enemy before they could strike… but it wasn’t right. Not here, not like this.

His father should be _gone_.

 _Dead_.

It was almost as if his father had been able to grab your soul and twist it into something sinister that left you sobbing in his arms.

_His father would pay for that._

He _dared_ to hurt the one that Sans loved again.

 _His father would pay_.

If he had the strength from the beyond to tear you apart, he had the ability to be torn apart just as much. Sans swore that he would be the one to do it.

No one breaks you like that and walks away alive.

You whimpered in his arms, pulling him from his anger and his thoughts. Your fingers curled into his shirt and he held you tighter.

“no one’s gonna hurt you again,” He vowed. “’til my last breath i will protect you.”

______________________________________

I was still tangled up with Sans when morning came. He was asleep still but grumbled and stirred when I stretched slightly.

His eyes quickly scanned over me and he relaxed a little more afterward.

“I’m really sorry about last night,” I mumbled. “I…”

“don’t apologize, not to me,” He smiled softly.

“But—”

Then he didn’t something that I didn’t expect.

He kissed me with lips that weren’t there, cradling my face gently. It was awkward and uncoordinated but still… the best kiss I ever had. He always seemed to know how to shut up my anxieties.

“you are so precious to me, and i’m gonna be here, no matter what.” His words were so earnest that I started to tear up.

Wrapping my arms around his neck loosely, I pressed my lips back to his—not entirely sure how that worked, but it was a problem for another time. This time it was less awkward, and we slowly figured out how to kiss and how we fit with each other.

Then images flashed into my mind of my dream last night… of losing him, and God I pulled him closer, kissing him harder. I had to know that he was here and kissing him was a good way to convince myself of that—even if it felt like I was dreaming.

Sans seemed to notice my distress, and his hands gently held my waist, grounding me to the here and now. His lips met mine with the same fervor.

I had to pull away to wipe away my tears.

“Don’t leave me, _please_.” I whimpered out. “I _can’t_ do it without you Sans.”

He pressed another fleeting soft kiss to my lips and brushed my hair from my face.

“i’m right here. always.” His voice was rough. “and i’ll be here every day until i can prove it to you.”

I nodded and pulled him into a tight hug, burying my face in his shoulder. Taking a deep breath, I was comforted in his scent. It smelled like home because I was home.

We eventually made our way downstairs where Papyrus was quietly cooking pancakes.

“Good morning human,” His soft voice startled me.

“Morning,” I gave a small smile and wrapped my arms around the tall skeleton, a feeling of endearment washing over me.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“Of course!” His voice slowly returned to his normal volume as we ate breakfast.

Sans seemed hesitant to leave my side, of which I was fine with as we curled up on the couch for the day, under a blanket. Snuggled up next to him, his hand gently rubbing my arm kept me grounded in the moment and kept my mind from wandering down dark paths.

Sans flipped on the TV and there was a robot box…? In a dress? Quoting… Shakespeare?

“What in the…?” I marveled then started to laugh. “Who the hell is that?”

“mettaton,” Sans said, close to malice in his voice.

“Mettaton?” I mused.

“celebrity down here. he has a hotel…” Sans shook his head in disgust. “profit off of everyone trapped down here…”

“What?”

“think about it,” he murmured. “everyone trapped, no way out, only one source of entertainment…”

“Oh,”

That was sort of twisted… I frowned. Was that the meaning behind this Mettaton’s game? Could he just be following his dream where he could? I mentally shrugged and leaned my head on Sans' shoulder half watching the awfulness that was the TV show.

It was nice, curled up next to him on the couch watching mindless TV—that got slightly worse when Mettaton started to sing.

“alright that’s it. if i have to watch another minute of him i am literally going to track him down and slap him,” Sans muttered and turned the TV off, getting up.

I let out a small giggle and looked up at him expectantly.

“let’s go,” he held a hand out to me, which I took. “there’s a lot more to see.”

There was something gleaming behind his eye that I wasn’t so sure about, but I had never seen him excited like this, so I decided to go with it.

“trust me?” he mused, again painting a doorway in front of us.

“Of course,” I smiled and took his hand, stepping through.

I was awestruck.

“This… this can’t exist,” I whispered.

It was dark, but everything _glowed_. The rocks, the plants, and flowers, the fungi, even the inchworms that made their way in the world.

The light was so soft and so beautiful I might have cried.

“Sans… this is…” I turned and looked at him, a soft smug smile on his face.

________________________________

Sans would give every breath to see your soul blaze like this—ever-shifting, revealing glimpses of different iridescent colors that were so much more beautiful than the luminescence around you.

The way your face lit up, the soft light that reflected off of you… you were beautiful Truly beautiful.

Maybe being trapped down here… all the lonely and hopeless nights… maybe they all meant something. He’d give anything just to see you smile like this.

“It’s beautiful Sans,”

And then you were hugging him. He could feel your hands curl into his shirt as you held him close.

And he held onto you. God if he had nothing else, he would hold onto you.

God damn it all, but he loved you.

When you pulled away, he had to stop himself from muttering the words aloud. He knew that it was too fast and too much.

But you tilted your head in curiosity and your eyes flicked down to where his soul was as if you knew how to see it. As if you could.

He knew you were so smart, so maybe you had figured out how to.

“_________,” He held your name as gently as he held you.

________________________________

I never thought that fairytales were for me. I never expected a prince charming and to be rescued… but maybe it was happening to me after all. In him.

Everything bad faded when I was with him. Every hurt, scar, ache, wound… it didn’t matter when he held me when he said my name like that when he took me to places beyond my wildest dreams…

It was safe. And beautiful.

Again, like last night, my mental walls were down that guarded my heart and I saw something—yet now I was fully awake to focus on what it truly was: his soul.

Something beautiful and blue, resonating within his chest. I blinked, waiting for it to leave my sight, but it was still there.

I glanced up at Sans, his expression was so gentle, so kind. A soft smile lay on his face. My lips parted slightly, in awe of what I saw.

He gave me a small nod as if he knew I could see his soul.

His emotions slowly made themselves known in my mind, flowing in slowly like a stream.

He was in wonder, as I was. Slowly, like a swirling ocean wave, his emotions came to me: joy, hope, gentleness, admiration, euphoria. But like a wave, they drew back, and I saw what underneath was the less prominent emotions that enamored his soul: fear, doubt, anxiety, depression, but fear, so much fear.

He was so afraid.

Of losing his brother, of waking up and everything he knew being gone, of being trapped like an animal underground forever with no escape. He was afraid… afraid of losing me…but this fear wasn’t alone, it was tangled with something deeper, something much more powerful.

Love.

Love washed over every other emotion and filled in the cracks, the ragged edges. It was love for his friends, his brother, for… me.

“ _Sans_ ,” I whispered softly, tears forming in my eyes.

His emotions shifted again. He was thinking of me. As if I was an emotion all on my own. They all melded together: protectiveness, loyalty, fear, gentleness, humor, longing, peace, and love.

My hand slowly reached out to touch the brilliant blue in front of me. It reached out to something concrete. To know that this was real. I had to know that this was real. That someone loved me for me. Brokenness and all.

His emotions were here and sudden, and things that I was so scared of letting myself feel but longed for all the same. I wanted this to be real. I wanted this to be true. I needed it to be.

I hesitated, afraid of hurting the beautiful glow before me, but Sans’ hand ran up my arm and guided my fingertips to his soul.

Each of my cells hummed the same power that occurred when I used magic as I neared his soul. My fingertips barely made contact…

And I knew the truth.

______________________________________

His mother used to say that the soul is what makes a person; that it’s who they are. The soul holds everything: every memory, every joy, every pain. Some moments are held dearer than others, but they are all there. Deep inside a person, residing, making a person who they are.

The moments they hold closer shine through and determine their course of action. Their morals, if you will.

His mother told him to guard his soul, keep it safe.

“There are true monsters in this world,” She’d say. “They’ll try to damage your soul, keep you from who you’re meant to be. Hold onto what you believe is most dear. Hold it tight and don’t let it go.”

Sans held onto three things.

Three.

No more, no less.

One, Papyrus. Oh, how he adored his brother. Through Sans’ eyes, the taller skeleton was an intelligent, kind, innocent little brother, to look after; someone who made friends with anyone and everyone, never faltering in showing compassion, and despite Papyrus’ incredible strength, he’d never hurt anyone.

He feared for his little brother to become anything but who he was already. He feared losing his little brother. God, Sans gave everything up for Papyrus. That explained the three jobs he worked, to give Papyrus anything he wanted because his little brother was all he had left. Sans held onto Papyrus, with almost everything he had.

Two: his father. W.D. Gaster. Sans’ thoughts recoiled around this man.

This thing.

This man was the reason he and Paps were on their own. Why they were trapped with no escape. Sans blamed this true monster for the barrier, with memories that he barely clung to. With half words, and glimpses of things he couldn’t quite remember. This man terrified Sans. Terrified that he would come back, that Gaster would take everything away, and treat him like the errant child his father convinced him he was. He remembered and held onto every insult and tearing down word. Sans clung to those words.

Three… you.

Sans held onto the first memory he had of you.

It wasn’t your face, no, it was Toriel’s soft voice, asking him to take care of me, and his promise to do it.

He remembered seeing your soul for the first time and being confused, because nothing like that had ever happened to him before, and he knew everyone in the Underground.

He remembered following me through the snow, watching you, protecting you, studying your soul, trying to figure out why. He needed you there with him.

He held onto the time you asked him if he was okay because you were some random human, who showed up and could see right through his charade, in a matter of hours.

You had only just met, but he held onto you, the way he held onto Papyrus.

He was confused as to why he did, why you were so different and made him feel this way. He worried if you felt the same. If he’d say something and you’d decide to leave him.

He didn’t want you to leave. He wanted you to stay so that he could figure out why you were different, and why your soul called to him, why he loved you, despite knowing you days.

__________________________________

His soul held onto those things: the pain, the fear, the worry, the things that were deep-seated in his soul, like daggers, tearing him apart.

Yet, that wasn’t the only thing his soul held to.

There was hope, and joy, and newly found love.

God, he was so curious, and funny, and insanely smart, wanting answers, and figuring out possibilities that I couldn’t dream to think of.

His soul called to mine. Needing it. Welcoming it.

My hand slowly sank trailing to his, and my eyes came into focus.

Sans’ expression matched mine. It was peaceful, calm, and understanding.

I held his hand tighter, resting my forehead against his, letting my eyes fluttered closed.

All of the unspoken words between us were palpable. In that moment, there were no walls between us, no barriers holding us back.

I looked up at him and used my other hand to reach up and gently trace his jaw. The polished bone beneath my fingers radiated heat.

His fingers, warm on my skin—making me shudder—raced up to my hand, and gently held it and kissed it softly with lips I couldn’t see.

“beautiful,” He murmured.

I felt my cheeks warm at the compliment, but I knew that he meant it, which meant more to me than it ever has from anyone.

“It’s like mine,” I murmured, “Blue,”

He gave a soft nod as we sank to the ground, dirt under my fingers, curled up next to each other.

“What does that even mean?” I wondered aloud.

He chuckled and pulled me closer.

“i’ve been trying to figure that out since you got here,” he admitted. “my mother would know…”

“Mine might have too…” I mused. “They always kept things from me… I know they tried to protect me but…”

“sometimes ignorance is bliss,” He sighed. “how are you doing with that?”

My gaze dropped.

“It… it hasn’t really hit me I think,” I laid my head on his shoulder. “Being down here… it’s an escape from that… and being with you… it all just fades… I miss them… but even if they weren’t… they’d still be…”

He nodded.

“can… can you tell me about what happened last night?” His voice was guarded.

I looked at him, and pressed my lips together, trying to decide the best words to choose.

“It was, you and I,” I began, confusion flitted across his face, his expression guarded. “We were in a long hallway… Facing Asgore.” I gritted out.

I could feel Sans tense up.

“i _won’t_ let him hurt you.” He vowed.

“I know, that wasn’t the problem. You held your own very well,” I admitted with a smile, impressed. “There was… a child there. They, it…” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “It was _awful_. Their eyes were blood red, and they had a knife. They moved like a ghost.” I whispered.

Sans’ hands were suddenly on my arms—crouched in front of me—gripping them tightly as he called my name with worry and anger.

“what did the kid look like?” He demanded, harshly.

I looked up at him, my eyes wide in shock.

“Green and yellow sweater.” I managed to get out. “Brown cropped hair… _Sans_?” I asked, my anxiety rising. “Sans _who was that_? And _why_ did they want you dead?” My questions rushed out, my hands moving to hold his face, to have him look at me.

I heard Sans grit out a curse, and his eyes flashed to mine, his eye glowing blue, the way it did when he was angry and on defense.

“ _Sans_ ,” I said cautiously, running my thumbs over his cheekbones. “Please, _tell me_ ,” Tears began to sting my eyes.

“what else happened?” He asked curtly.

I bit my lip, recoiling from the sharp words, my hands dropping to my lap.

I didn’t like how he was responding to what I was telling him.

A thousand questions burned on my tongue.

He sighed and reached out slowly and caressed my cheek, brushing away a stray tear that had managed to escape.

The blue glow faded from his eye.

“i’m _sorry_ ,” He said softly, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “i didn’t mean to snap at you. your safety means everything to me, you have to know that. _please_ ,” He asked.

Still worrying my lip, I debated on telling him or not. He seemed to sense that. He called my name softly.

“i’m sorry. i’ll be quiet, but i need to know,”

“They didn’t _do_ anything, but distract you… distract me… I wasn’t fast enough… Asgore got to you before I could.” I whispered. “You told me to go,” I looked down. “I couldn’t without you. I told Asgore to…” I didn’t want to finish my sentence.

Sans knew what I did, and I didn’t have to say it.

“That’s when I heard you calling to me, to wake up.” I swallowed my tears. “It just felt _so real,”_ I whispered out.

I looked up at Sans, and he was just looking at me, trying to figure out what to do or say.

“their name is chara.” He said after a while. “i... don’t know much except that they’re _not_ good. downright _evil_.” Sans whispered, remembering something that I couldn’t see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do y'all think of Gaster's new power? Are you ready for it to become a lot more relevant?  
> Do these terrors that haunt our couple really exist or are they a trick of the mind?


	5. ...I'll Grab My Light And Go With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Loves!
> 
> So who's ready for some angst? Also, a few new perspectives that I haven't used yet and I'm playing around with so let me know what you think!
> 
> I love you guys. Stay safe out there.   
> Drink some water. 
> 
> Love,   
> Momma Marri

_Beware the man who speaks in hands, not for what he says but for his actions and plans. For fear, dread, uncertainty, and hurt this man understands._

Toriel looked up from her book on snail recipes. There were creaks on her floorboards… someone was in her home… someone she didn’t invite in.

“Toriel?” It was a familiar voice, your voice, coming up the stairs. “ _Toriel_!?”

“ _Child_?” Toriel stood, leaving her book on her chair. “What are you doing here child?” She asked when you came into view.

“Toriel _please_ ,” You sounded broken and you looked like it too.

You were beaten and bruised, limping your way towards her.

“My child… who did this to you?” Toriel was on edge.

No one hurt her family. Never again.

“ _Toriel_ ,” Your voice broke, “You _have_ to protect them,”

“Who _?”_ Her tone was urgent.

Behind you, she saw a smaller form, unscathed except maybe a skinned knee and puffy red eyes from crying. A child in a blue and purple sweater. A child that looked much like her own.

A child that you were protecting.

“Who _is_ this?” Her tone was stern and cautious.

“ _Please_ Toriel, Asgore won’t kill me. He said he’d kill the next one that fell…” Tears streamed down your face as you picked up the small innocent child. “You can’t let him get to them.”

The desperation in your voice and in your eyes made Toriel’s choice clear.

“I won’t let him hurt either of you. Not anymore. Come,” She held out a paw and pulled you behind her waiting for what was sure to lurk below.

“Tori,” A deep memorable voice called.

“Asgore I _banished_ you from this place. Now _leave_!”

“You know what I need to do,”

“ _I won’t let you_!”

Fire magic sparked along her paws, protecting you and the child from Asgore. A vicious motherly snarl left the queen’s lips. There was a soft whimper and a gentle broken console from behind her.

“Tori,”

She hadn’t seen Asgore in so long. He looked older, sadder… and she still loved him, despite everything. It broke her heart to have to do this again. To have to choose again.

“You won’t hurt them Asgore. Killing them won’t get us anywhere.” Her tone was as sharp and cold as ice.

“Toriel, we have a kingdom to think about.”

“They’re _innocent_. So were all the other’s you killed! You _killed_ them Asgore! Because you _failed as a king! As a father_!” Tears were streaming down white fur.

“Don’t make me fight you, Tori,”

“Then _don’t do this_ ,”

“I know what I have to do,”

“Then so do I,”

…………………………………

Toriel woke with a start, tears still running down her face.

She was alone, in her room in the Ruins. You were still off on the other side of the door and there was no other child in a sweater. You were safe… she trusted Sans to keep you safe. No one could get through him.

So, she dismissed the nightmare, no one would get through Sans, and therefore no one would get to you. You were safe.

A small part of her wanted to call, just to make sure. A seed that was planted in her brain.

As she did every day, Toriel went and checked the Ruins for another fallen child, a new fear and urgency in her heart.

______________________________________

Undyne was dreading this mission report to the king.

Sure, he was normally a pushover and a good friend… a father in some ways. But he wouldn’t budge on the subject of humans.

They were to be destroyed at all costs. To free the people and break the barrier.

She knew her orders and they weren’t hard to follow. Not that a human had fallen on her watch before, that was a time before hers.

Then you fell. And god damn it all, you were _good_. And kind. And there was no way that killing you would be right.

So, Undyne would lie to the king… there was no human in the Underground.

Unless he had already heard the rumors. Then she couldn’t lie.

Would she stand up to Asgore for you? Could she? Were you worth that?

Undyne dismissed the thought. Asgore was good too. He was lonely. Of course, he would understand where she was coming from. He would see that you were good.

“Undyne, hello child,” Asgore smiled as he looked up from watering the buttercups that grew with reckless abandon.

“Hey, Majesty,” Undyne gave a small bow.

“Mission report?” Setting the water canaster down Asgore rose to his full height, his purple cloak draping around his form. This was the King. The General. The man who killed to make things right. This wasn’t her friend any longer.

“Everyone is safe.”

It wasn’t a lie…

“Undyne, do not lie to me.” The king’s tone was cold and harsh. “Mission. Report.”

Undyne grit her teeth.

“Everyone is safe. That is _all_.”

“ _Undyne_ ,” Asgore growled. “I know the rumors. I know there is a human among us. Are you _protecting_ her? _Forsaking_ your kingdom? For a _human_?” He spat the word.

“Asgore I _will not_ turn my back on this kingdom. I _meant_ what I said. _Everyone is safe_. The human means no harm. _________ is _good_.” Undyne started growing agitated.

“Are you _friends_ with this beast? You _know_ what they’ve done! Her soul is what will _get us out._ Free us all. You trade _the freedom of your people for one mere girl?”_ Asgore accused. “Maybe I made a _mistake_ when I chose you.”

Undyne held back tears.

“The _only_ mistake you ever made was making me think that killing anyone for the greater good was acceptable.”

“Undyne, this is _treason_.”

She shook her head.

“It’s a _revolt_. This is _wrong_ , Asgore. It drove Toriel away, it killed hundreds of _our_ people, don’t let it drive away who you still have left.”

“Undyne, you are relieved of your guard duties. _Permanently_.” Asgore’s stare was heavy on her shoulders, so was his verdict.

Undyne gave a humorless smile.

“ _Fine_. I follow someone who’s worth following.” Undyne turned to leave then paused. “You haven’t left the palace in a long time Asgore, things have changed. Don’t let that be your downfall.”

“She will be _found and killed_ Undyne. And you _can’t_ stop that. You were _never_ strong enough.”

………………………………

Undyne gasped and sat up.

She could hear the soft pattering of rain on her window.

It was a dream. Just a dream.

God but what the hell was she going to tell Asgore? Was this treason?

Undyne couldn’t get the words out of her head. The conversation over and over was I her mind on repeat.

_“I made a mistake when I chose you.” “You were never strong enough.”_

Letting out a roar of frustration, she got up, pulled on suitable clothes and started to train, blaring music loud to drown her thoughts.

She finally gave in when she was drenched in sweat, her hands were raw, and every training dummy and wall was destroyed.

Then she curled up, hugged her knees and sobbed.

When night turned into day, she rose.

She wasn’t going to let you fall at the hand of Asgore. Not like this.

________________________________________

“Your Majesty, please listen,” Gaster walked beside him. “You must see what they are doing.”

“They have done nothing to harm us, my friend, I will not turn on them.”

It had been weeks that Asgore had to turn down this advice. Something in him didn’t sit well with it. He always had Gaster close, a friend, an ally, but recently he feared for his friend and where his mind had gone.

“Think of your queen and your child. Do you want them to live in a world where they must always be afraid? Where you can never be a family?”

Asgore paused and mulled over the thought.

“It will not come to that my dear friend. Please, do not fret. Humans do not wish to harm us and nor do I them.”

“Asgore, you are making a mistake,”

“And what about you dear friend? Would you turn on your wife in such a way? She is human is she not? Is she condemned with the rest? What about your children? Your family?”

“I will put my obligation before my heart. I am loyal to the crown.” Gaster squared his shoulders and tilted his head back.

“My obligation is in my heart Gaster. It has what made my father a great king, and one that I hope to be someday. I will not lose sight of that.”

Asgore smiled softly and dismissed his friend, heading home.

“Welcome home,” Toriel smiled, covered in flour finishing, a snail pie for dinner.

“Daddy! I lost a tooth today!”

His pride and joy, his little prince, came bounding over and jumped into his arms, showing him the hole in his mouth.

How could he ever lose sight of this?

………………………………

Asgore’s eyes opened.

He had lost.

_______________________________________

“Be safe my love,” His mother pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

They were both going out to the front lines of the war. He couldn’t bear the thought of his mother fighting she was too gentle and kind.

Not that she couldn’t fight. He knew all too well that she could. He still couldn’t bear to see her, in armor, ready at the front lines with him.

“guess i can’t convince you to stay,” his smile was sad as he handed to her, her snowy white cloak.

“You worry too much my dear,” Her smile was suppressed. “But I must try to mend what your father destroyed. And this is how,”

Sans was never prepared fully for what he faced in those coming days. The monsters had numbers, but no one could withstand the power of the mages or their malicious intent. So many died beside him, mowed down without a second thought.

“You will lose,” A mage sneered, their cloak as red as the blood spilled by their hands, grinning. “You and your pathetic little rebellion.”

“as long as we have hope and courage, we will never lose,” Sans growled back, advancing in attack.

“ _Sans_!” He heard his mother cry out desperately.

He felt magic wrap around him—a beautiful golden light—and before he could react, he watched his mother take the blow that was meant for him.

“ _mom_!” Sans was released slowly as her magic faded.

He quickly went from offensive to defensive as he used his magic to shield, creating a dome around him and his mother, cradling her in his arms.

“why would you do that?” He scolded harshly, checking her injuries.

“Take care of Papyrus,” Her voice was weak and broken, as was her body.

“you’re _not_ leaving me, you _can’t_.” Tears flooded his vision.

He watched in horror as her soul grew dimmer and dimmer, the beautiful gold dulling until there was no light left.

_When a human and monster SOULs are combined, the power is unfathomable._

Only seven mages were left after that.

The seven that sealed them in.

Sans watched his mother fall and the Barrier rise at the hands of these mages.

They were going to pay.

All of them.

……………………….

Sans opened his eyes, fury and hurt flooding his soul.

Until his eyes fell on your sleeping form. Your hair was a mess as you clung to a pillow, your nose scrunched up if you were having a nightmare too.

Sighing softly, he smoothed your hair and pulled you into his arms. You didn’t wake completely, but you abandoned your pillow in favor for him.

Maybe they wouldn’t all have to pay.

_______________________________________

I woke in the middle of the night, Sans, fast asleep beside me, didn’t move when I got up. Slipping on socks and his hoodie, I went out into his deck, leaning against the railing.

The night was quiet, safe. Lights glowed down below of the sleeping town as a few night owls strolled through. Taking a deep breath, I could smell the fresh snow that was being laid by the night and the evergreens that the blanket covered.

It was so close, but something wasn’t quite right. There were no stars. There was no moon to light my night up. The one who had always been there when I was alone and awake in the depth of the night.

I thought about what Sans had said when he asked me how I felt about my parents. And truth be told, when I was with Sans, it was like the hurt faded. As if the gaping hole in my chest was filled, even for a moment.

But being with him didn’t keep every pain away.

“__________?” Sans’ sleepy voice perked up behind me.

I turned slightly and gave a small smile.

“Hey,” I offered and turned back to the scene before me.

“you okay?” He came up beside me, so close that our arms were touching.

“Yeah, just thinking I guess.” I laid my head on his shoulder. “Do you miss it? Being out? The moon? Stars?” My voice faded as I trailed off.

“sometimes… being out, sure. the freedom that was there… but there was always fear underneath. I’m just tired of being afraid.”

I nodded and sighed.

“I do miss my parents… my dad was so patient and kind, my mom was stubborn and loud…” I smiled softly. “Yet they worked together so well,”

We stood there in silence each lost in our own thoughts until I shivered slightly, the cold seeping into my skin.

Of course, Sans noticed.

“let’s get you in before you’re—”

“—if you finish that sentence will ‘chilled to the bone’ I’m gonna…” I trailed off my threat, knowing I wouldn’t really do anything.

He seemed to know that too, and laughed, walking inside, trailing me behind him.

Curling up beside him I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the nightmares that I knew were coming, but when I opened my eyes, it was morning.

Breakfast was done and I was lost in thought, cleaning, that I nearly had a heart attack when there was aggressive knocking on the door, followed by Undyne's voice.

I went over to open the door and immediately knew there was something wrong, because she was on high alert, with a spear in her hand, glowing menacingly. I flinched back, and she straightened up a bit, backing up, not meaning to scare me.

“ _what_?” Sans was beside me instantly. “is it papyrus?”

“No, he’s fine. This about her.” She stated, pointing to me.

“Me?” I asked before Sans could.

I took a step back from the door, nearly running into Sans, allowing Undyne to come in while closing and locking the door behind her.

“What about me?” Sans hovered at my side and I could feel the worry and anger radiating off of him.

“The king knows.” She said and I struggled to connect the pieces. “Word must have traveled to the palace.” She filled in grimly. “I… I haven’t given my mission report of the week, but I can’t hold out forever.”

My eyes widened in shock, as I took a step back. The palace meant Asgore, and Asgore meant… well, visions of my dream flashed through my mind.

I could sense Sans losing it beside me. I took his hand, as a reassurance, to both him and me. He wrapped his free arm around my waist.

“we’ll hide her.” He told Undyne. “keep her hidden and safe.”

Undyne rocked her head from side to side, considering the plan.

“Could work. But he's gonna have the whole Royal Guard on her, and those dogs can find her anywhere. Sure, he’s a pushover, but I don’t think he’s gonna budge on something like this.”

“has he given the order to find her yet?” Sans asked, letting go of my hand, pacing the floor.

“Not that I know, and he normally goes through me first, since most of the dogs are loyal to me anyways.” Undyne supplied.

I went and sat on the couch, staring blankly at the wall, letting my eyes go out of focus.

A thousand thoughts swirled around in my mind. The dream made its fair share of an appearance. If the king came here… then what happened in the hallway, would never happen.

Sans could be safe. He'd be able to come back to his brother. I could give myself up and allow Sans and my friends to go free. Hiding meant putting people in danger, and I couldn't stand the thought.

“Do we even know if he's coming? If he’ll really kill me?” The questions slipped through my lips.

Their eyes flashed to me. Sans looked furious, and Undyne, curious.

“She right,” Undyne muttered. Sans growled at her. “He may not even be coming.” She said with little hope. “He might not want to hurt her.”

“she's a _human_ , a _human mage_ ,” Sans sneered the words. “you _know what they've done to us_. what they can do. what _threat_ they pose. he's going to come for her. and he won't wait to listen.”

The malice in Sans’ tone took me by surprise. I frowned at his words… they didn’t fit right,

Human _mage_.

What _they've_ done.

A _threat_.

Since when did this become all my fault? When did I have a choice? I didn’t choose to be a mage.

Apparently, I was like every other mage. I was suddenly grouped with the rest of the human mage population. By someone who I thought, would never do something like that.

Didn’t he know that I didn’t have a choice? Wasn’t he the one who told me that I was good? What happened to his faith in me?

Why was it _my fault_? How _was that fair?_

I heard Sans curse under his breath as he knelt in front of me, calling my name, apologizing. My eyes met his, questions burning in them, sadness overriding them. Maybe a few tears escaped. I didn’t know. I had gone numb, not wanting to face what—who was in front of me.

“A threat?” I murmured softly, my lips barely moving.

“i didn't mean it like that,” He reached out to stroke my cheek, to brush away the silent tears, but I backed away.

I shook my head softly and stood pushing past him, trying to ignore the agony his soul was in and how it called to mine. I shoved my feet in my shoes and tied them, sloppily, and headed outside.

Sans didn’t follow me into the snow.

“Where are you _going_?” Undyne demanded, chasing after me. “What _happened_? What's going on?” She called my name pacing after me, matching my stride easily.

“ _Nothing_ ,” I said sharply, heading away from the town, away from him.

I had to get away… I had to…

to…

“Are you scared? Cuz we're not gonna let anything happen to you. I swear.” She tried.

“It's not that.” I shook my head.

All Asgore could do was kill me.

Sans could leave me. Or worse… hate me.

Just the amount of malice, and hatred in his voice towards humans, towards who I was, then putting me in with them… Calling me a threat…

I…

It…

Undyne took a quick stride and stopped in front of me, holding my shoulders, stopping both of us. I glared at her in defiance.

“Let me go.” I sneered, magic igniting along my skin.

Her grip held firm and her stare hardened.

“Sans is worried out of his mind about you right now, and you're walking away from him.” Apparently, she was going to be my voice of reason.

“He… called me a _threat_.” my voice recoiled around the word. “As if I were just as awful as the ones who put up the barrier. I… I never thought he'd…” I trailed off, trying to find the words to explain why it hurt so much.

How did he have so much power over me? Why had I given him so much power?

Undyne called my name, drawing me back to earth.

“You _know_ he didn't mean it that way. _You know that_.” She said firmly, looking me in the eyes, repeating my name sternly. “He was there on the front lines of the war. He had to watch so many die at the hands of mages. He’s afraid of them but God _______ he loves you! I _never_ thought that Id’ ever see the day that he’d not attack a mage let alone _love one_! But he’s _so_ in love with you! _You know that!”_

She waited for a response, and right then and there, I knew, to the core of my soul, that yes, he loved me. I nodded.

That’s why it hurt so much. That’s how he had so much power over me. That’s why I gave it to him.

“I love him too,” I whispered out.

Undyne nodded and let go of my shoulders.

“Now let's head back and talk this through. Asgore may be coming, and we need to make a plan.” She decided, directing my out of the humid weather of Waterfall and back towards the cold. I really made it far.

“I could give myself up. Let you guys go free.” I whispered, finally voicing my opinion as we walked back.

“He'd never allow it,” Undyne said curtly. “And neither would I.” There was something hidden under her voice.

“I won't let him die because of me!” I nearly yelled. “Any of you… You deserve to be _free_.”

“And you think I want to deal with _him_ for the rest of eternity if he loses you?” She countered. “You think any of us want to look into his eyes if he lost you?”

I couldn't think of a comeback, so I gave her a sour look.

“I know you can't see it because you weren't here before. But God he's changed so much. He was on his own for so long, never finding happiness in anything but his little brother, and even then, that was iffy. He _needs_ you.” Undyne insisted.

“And that about you?” I countered. “I can't lose you either. I can't bear the thought of anyone getting hurt because of me.” I said hopelessly.

She chuckled. “You're worrying about the wrong things; we can hold our own. All we worry about is losing you.”

“I don't understand.” I murmured.

“You don't have to. Just trust us. We'll get you through this.”

“I don't want to lose him,” I repeated.

“Then how about not storming off into the unknown away from him. It's not like he can read your mind or knows how you feel.” She teased.

“Kinda does...” I said, mumbling at the ground, not really thinking about it.

Undyne looked at me in disbelief.

“No _way_. _No fucking way_!” She cackled.

“ _What_!?” I demanded.

“You two… are… Oh, God!” She laughed, still not answering me. “It all makes sense now. _Hey_! That's it. That's _perfect_. Asgore can't touch you!” She began running back to the house which was now in sight.

“ _Wait_! _Undyne_! What's _it_!?” I yelled after her, running too.

I was panting when I made my way into the door. Sans was there, on high alert, not paying attention to Undyne, but looking right at me.

His soul was so dull and lifeless. My heart ached at the sight. I also ignored Undyne and went over and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder. I felt him tense, then slowly relax, wrapping his arms around me. He was warm, and taking the chill from my skin, from being outside without a jacket for so long.

“'m sorry,” he whispered miserably. “i _didn’t_ mean it. not like that. ‘m _so_ _sorry_ _______.”

“I know, I'm sorry too,” I whispered back. “I shouldn't have walked out like that. I'm sorry.”

“i never meant to say it like that,” he said softly. “please don’t leave me.”

“I’m not. I won’t. Promise.”

He pulled away and gave a small smile. His soul was less dull than before, but still wasn’t flaring as it had been.

“Hey, _love birds_!” Undyne called, pulling us out of our bubble. “Your problems are solved.” She said smugly, sitting on the couch.

Sans' eyes snapped to hers.

“what?” He demanded. “ _how_!?”

“________ said you know how she feels, all the time. Right? Cuz you can see her soul?” She looked at me and I nodded, giving an apologetic smile to Sans.

I didn't know if he was okay with Undyne knowing that. He nodded, letting me know that it was okay.

“I don't see what this has to do with our problems being solved, Undyne.” I pointed out.

“We'll hang on, that leads to my next question. Can you see his soul?” Undyne asked me, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes?” I frowned.

I was so lost.

What did Undyne know?

Why wasn’t anyone giving me a straight answer!?

“Then Asgore can't kill either of you, not without breaking sacred monster law.” She grinned.

Seriously.

A straight answer.

Just once.

Was it too much to ask?

“the only law like that is the law that applies to soulmates.” Sans pointed out, giving me information that I didn't know.

Monsters had laws? Well, I mean, I guess they did… Huh. It still didn’t make sense. What law were they talking about?

Undyne gestured to us as if it were obvious. I tilted my head and looked at her, then Sans, looking for an explanation. Then it clicked.

“You think we're…?” I asked, understanding what she was implying, trying to wrap my head around it.

“One hundred percent.” She grinned.

“but no one knows anything about soulmates, except the king and queen.” Sans insisted. “there haven't been any for hundreds of years.”

“Aaaaaand who do you think I work for?” Undyne asked, again if it were obvious.

“The king,” I answered, in shock. I wondered how much the king told Undyne.

“I thought that you two were soulmates when I first saw you use magic. No one has ever come close to the power or color of what Sans can do. All that was left was the soul sight thing and voila. And monster law states that no one can kill either part of the paring of a soulmate.”

“Why?” I asked curiously, the question slipping through.

I wasn’t going to complain, but…

“because, it's like taking away someone's soul itself, half of who they are. it would lead to bloodshed and war. no one would dare put another soul in that kind of pain.” Sans filled in.

“Soulmates,” I repeated, still trying to grasp the concept.

I looked at Sans.

Of course, it made sense.

Why I couldn't shake him. Why I was always so worried about him. Why I loved him, despite knowing him maybe a week. Why he loved me, and held onto me, protected me.

He was my soulmate and I was his. And Asgore couldn’t kill him. He'd be mine; he'd be safe.

Asgore couldn’t kill either of us. There would be no hallway of death. There would be no broken Sans or killer demon child. My dream would never come to pass.

My knees suddenly went weak and gave out from under me.

Sans was there to catch me, the way he always was.

“__________!?” His voice was worried as he called to me. “come on stay with me sweetheart,”

“I’m fine,” I slurred out.

Both Sans and Undyne didn’t believe me.

“undyne can you?” He started and she understood the unspoken message and gave a small wave and headed out the door.

________________________________

Again, Sans would give anything to know what was going through your head.

How Undyne figured it out, he would never understand, but he was glad that she was the one to tell you not him. His fears and doubts ran ramped when it came to you. After all, you had every right to walk away.

And you did and God it scared him to death knowing that he deserved it. He had to watch you walk away and he never wanted to see it again. No matter what he was going to be there for you. Even if that meant being just friends, or less than that. He wouldn’t give up on you and he’d never stop protecting you.

“Are you… okay with this? I know… what I am…” Your voice was small and broken.

No euphoria of “soulmates” could take away the doubt he had just planted in your head. God, if he could just go back and take it all back, he would.

And he could… but he wouldn’t manipulate you like that. Or anyone. Not like his father did.

“__________, please believe me, i didn’t mean it that way. i know _who_ you are and it’s _so_ much more important than what you are.”

“I don’t want to lose you. Not ever.” Your fingers curled into his shirt as you buried your face in the crook of his neck. “I’ll prove to you that I’m _good_. That I can _be good.”_

“________ please, look at me,” Sans was so torn about how such a little thing had shattered everything inside of you. “you are good. you’re pure and kind and gentle and everything that i can _never_ be—” You opened your mouth to protest but he kept going—“you are a mage, yes, and there was a time that… that i really wouldn’t have stopped to ask questions before attacking, but you _changed_ that. _all_ of that for me. you’re not just good, you’re the best thing for me _______ and… and _i love you.”_

Sans never thought he’d say those words again to anyone that wasn’t his little brother. They were forbidden to him. He was taught that he couldn’t love. That he wasn’t worthy to love something.

You stared wide-eyed up at him. Tears pricked your eyes and he could see them threaten to fall.

_______________________________

“And I love you,” The response was immediate on my lips. “God, of course, I love you.”

He looked at me, in shock and awe, then he leaned forward, and kisses me with lips that weren't there.

Kissing him was becoming one of my favorite things. The kiss was gentle and kind, and it made me lightheaded. I felt my pulse quicken, and my hands reach out to pull him closer, by wrapping my arms around his neck.

He complied, and his fingers curl into my hair. His lips were soft and warm, and melded to my own, moving with them, slowly, learning.

I felt my soul flare to life, responding to his touch, to his soul. It was pure bliss. It took away the last bit of my fear and the last shred of his doubt.

We belonged together.

We were soulmates.

I had to pull away from the kiss, much sooner than I wanted to, because well, it wasn’t the time or place. There were too many other things to try and figure out, and what I wanted to do with him had to wait.

He seemed to understand this too, and just held me close until Papyrus came through the front door. I didn’t flinch, and I wasn’t afraid, with Sans’ arms tightly around me, my head on his shoulder, I felt safe. Loved. At home.

“FEAR NOT HUMAN!” Papyrus reassured me. “THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL NOT LET ANYONE HARM YOU!! FOR YOU ARE PART OF OUR FAMILY NOW! AND A GREAT FRIEND!! ASGORE WILL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER HUMAN SOUL TO TAKE!!” Papyrus said grinning.

Undyne came in behind him with two others that I hadn’t met. Okay well, that wasn’t entirely true, I had watched Mettaton on TV for hours the other day. He looked exactly the same as on TV and it almost had me laughing. I could feel annoyance radiating off of Sans at his presence.

“I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure,” He purred, offering me a hand to shake, which I did.

“__________,” I smiled.

“Oh, I know darling, you’re all the buzz around here. Your ratings are through the roof!” He sounded in awe at the fact that I was not aware of and didn’t know if I wanted to be.

“H-Hi,” the other monster—a short yellow dinosaur type monster—stammered. “I’m A-Alphys.”

“It’s nice to meet you Alphys,” I let her have her space and offered her a warm reassuring smile.

“Alright now that that’s done…” Undyne muttered. “We need to talk about battle plans.”

“Well, you _both_ know what I think,” Mettaton feigned.

“which is?” Sans gritted, to which I gave him a small nudge saying be nice.

“Oh, we were debating the pros and cons of my upgrade.” Mettaton purred at me, not Sans.

“Upgrade?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“W-well, Mett-Mettaton has another body that w-would be more usef-ful in this s-situation.” Alphys stuttered out.

“Oh,” I said, eyeing the robot box.

Then the meaning of Alphys’ words. More useful… if it came down to a fight.

“I thought there wasn’t a threat anymore?” I said, suddenly worried.

“We don’t want to take any chances darling, we couldn’t bear to lose you” The robot distressed.

Sans stared at him with narrowed eyes.

Undyne rolled her eyes. “He just wants an excuse for Alph to speed up the building of his new suit.” She scoffed.

The robot acted offended.

They continued to bicker, and I tuned them out, laying my head back on Sans’ shoulder, and closing my eyes. I could feel his arms tighten around me, holding me closer.

“It’s hard to deny when they sit like that,” Mettaton muttered to no one in particular.

I felt a smile curl across my face. I didn’t know what the robot's problem was, but this seemed to get on his nerves. I knew that Sans was smug too.

I smelled something heavenly coming from the kitchen, and my stomach decided that I needed to see what it was. I got up from Sans’ lap, ruefully, and drifted into the kitchen, where Papyrus was making pasta. I leaned against the counter and watched him.

“HOW ARE YOU HUMAN!?” He asked as he stirred, what looked like alfredo sauce, adding spices.

“I’m pretty okay, Paps,” I said truthfully. “How are you?”

“I AM QUITE GREAT!” He responded. “ESPECIALLY NOW THAT I KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE OKAY!! WHICH WILL MAKE MY BROTHER OKAY!!”

“Yeah, I guess so.” I thought aloud. “You don’t care, do you? That he and I are well…” I trailed off.

“OF COURSE, NOT HUMAN!!” Papyrus reassured me. “AS LONG AS MY BROTHER IS HAPPY, I AM HAPPY TOO!”

I smiled. It was hard not to envy the taller skeleton’s innocence and way of thinking. I was relieved that he was okay that Sans and I were, well, together now. I didn’t want to drive a wedge between them. They were brothers, first and foremost.

Soon dinner/lunch was served, and we all sat in the main room, either on the couch or floor, discussing what was to be done in the days to pass.

Mettaton was still convinced that he needed to be upgraded, though at this point I knew that it had little, to nothing, to do with protecting me. Undyne would keep an eye on both the king and Royal Guard, to see if any decision would be made. Everything would resume as it normally would, except, we would all be on the lookout.

____________________________________________

When the two of you were settled into bed, Sans took a deep breath and found the courage to say what he had been meaning to all day.

“__________, i… i wanna talk about earlier. about what i said…” He looked down at his lap, afraid to face you… afraid to bring this up at all.

“Sans, it’s okay… Undyne… she kinda put things into perspective. I understand.” You were always too kind to him when he didn’t deserve it.

“no, well… i don’t know what she told you—”

“The war,” You cut him off. “You fought against mages… I never really connected it before… but I know why…”

“that’s…” He struggled for the right words. “that’s some of it. a part of it yes. but…” He took a deep breath. “they killed my mother, in front of me.” He closed his eyes, containing all of his emotions.

You were quiet. Maybe too quiet. He wasn’t quite sure how he wanted you to react anyway.

But your hand found its way into his and without a word you pulled him into a tight hug. He wrapped his arms around you and clung to you, the dam wall breaking that was holding back his raging emotions.

And for the first time since she died, he cried for his mother.

You were crying too. He could feel the cries jolting your frame against his.

“I’d… I’d never…” You gasped out. “Sans… I’m _so_ sorry.” You hiccupped as you pulled away, wiping your face.

“i know,” he rasped out, moving your hands and wiping away the rest of your tears, cupping your face. “i know that. i promise. you’re not like them. not even close. i _know_ you’re _good_ _____________, i _know_ your _soul_.”

You nodded weakly and blinked away a few tears.

“I’m so sorry, Sans… no one deserves that.”

A sad smile adorned his face.

“it was a long time ago,”

You laid your head on his shoulder, and he gently wrapped his arms around you and pulled you down with him, pulling the blanket over your shoulders as you laid together.

_____________________________________________

“What about your dad?” I murmured softly, curios.

“ _gone_.” he seemed like he was convincing both of us.

I looked to him for more information. He complied.

“after we were trapped, the king asked my father to find a way out. to get through the barrier, no matter the cost. well, my father figured it out, but it had to be done with seven human souls… the same power that put up the barrier…

he figured out that seven human souls wielded by a monster could tear down the barrier. that’s why the king and queen split. she couldn’t bear the thought of harming another creature, especially when the first human that fell was a child.

she banished the king from their new home, and we all ventured out into the rest of the underground. the queen lives with few monsters in the ruins still, but she hasn’t ever come past the doors.”

“Toriel,” I whispered softly, my heart aching for her, and what she had to go through. “That still doesn’t explain what happened to your dad.” I tacked on.

“he became the royal scientist for the king, figuring out more ways to get passed the barrier, because waiting for seven humans to fall may take forever. so, he made a machine, that was supposed to cut through time and space.” He paused for a moment, trapped in a memory. I nudged him, and he recovered. “there was an accident with the machine,” He whispered. “my father got vaporized, split into individual molecules across time and space. still trapped.”

I looked at him in horror.

“God, Sans, I’m so sorry.” I whispered.

“‘s’okay. was a long time ago too.” He gave a crooked smile. “the accident did give me the ability to travel through time and space in the underground though.” He said it as if it were a sick joke, and maybe it was.

“The accident,” I concluded. “How… why…?”

“why aren’t i also vaporized?’ He finished, raising a brow bone. I nodded. “i wasn’t as close, the blast barely hit me, but ya know, it had its effects. instead of being separated into time and space, i’m able to separate it.”

“Papyrus?” I asked after a thoughtful moment.

“he was far away, with muffet. he was still just a kid, i didn’t want him anywhere near the king, or our father.” He winced slightly. “he didn’t need to experience that. i moved him here a while ago, desperate to get out of the palace. So, we started over here.”

I didn’t know what to say.

My heart hurt for the man beside me as his soul called to mine to be mended, to be whole again. I finally understood his deep-seated hatred for these mages. I hated them on his behalf.

What kind of soulless person would do that to someone?

“S’all gone now,” I whispered softly. “Doesn’t have to be like that again.”

“still trapped.” He said curtly.

“For now,” I murmured.

“whatever you’re thinking, i’m not letting you get yourself killed for us.” His voice was firm.

“If it gets you out…” I mumbled.

“ _no_. you’re not… no.” He said my name, drawing my attention up to his eyes. “freeing us, that’s not on you. or anyone. do you understand me?” He prompted, his soul flaring with defiance and protectiveness. I nodded.

“I want to help…” I said, looking down as his arms tightened around me.

“you’re not putting yourself in harm’s way. not while i’m here.”

I nodded laying my head on his shoulder.

“i’m not losing you too.”

______________________________________________

Sans didn’t sleep for a long while. Your breathing evened out eventually as you slipped into unconsciousness, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

He hadn’t thought about his mother or had a nightmare that was more like a memory in a long while. It made him think of his father.

Sans was in denial that his father could be back but after your nightmare from a few nights ago and his… and whatever had set Undyne off to come and find you this morning, something wasn’t right.

“Go to bed…” You mumbled sleepily shifting until you were comfortable.

"love you," he whispered. 

"Love you too, now sleep," You grumbled.

He chuckled softly and shook his head settling down next to you. He let his eyes glaze over, fixed on the swirling of your soul until it lulled him to sleep as well.

________________________________________________


End file.
